Planning my new year

I've been thinking a lot lately about the person I want to become as I get older.  Now that I've pretty much figured out who I'm not, I'm starting to feel like I'm more honest with myself.  Now I don't just believe things because they were preached to me.  I grew tired of the brainwashing.  You know, I always felt uncomfortable sitting in a pew because I always wondered if the people sitting around me were for real.  Church was a way of "fixing" the bad in me, but it only made things worse.  It was about emotion with no logic.  And for a person like me to run on pure emotion is destructive because I know I'm crazy!  LOL!  To have faith is almost a foreign concept to me now because so much has changed in my life.  My point of view has been altered.  And I'm not going to pretend to be someone that I'm not.  That makes me feel good.  And the fog that once clouded up my mind is cleared.  I know what I've been through, and I never want to go back.  I know that kind of person I was, and I buried her almost five years ago...I can say I'm looking forward to my life with the new me.  Hopefully 2015 will be one of the best years of my life.--SilentMaid