Passion

But don't you understand?  Passion doesn't always count. My brother was very passionate about everything when I was growing up.  We always had to take certain routes in the car.  It didn't matter if the routes took us on dirt roads and took us hours longer to reach our destination.  He was passionate about lists.  He would constantly demand that I give him my favorite songs so he could make fun of them or hate them.  He was passionate about torturing me...he wouldn't quit.  It only ended the day he tried to strangle me.  It only ended then because I stopped caring.  He was pasionate about making my life a living hell.  When I stopped giving him the reaction he wanted, he moved on to make my parents life a living hell.  What he wanted he wanted very deeply.  Whatever he wanted he wanted more than I didn't want it, but that doesn't mean that he should always be allowed to have it. My first wife was also passionate about what she wanted.  I was never passionate about what I wanted, so she always got what she wanted.  She was very passionate about wanting a child.  She was infertile, so we tried all kinds of things.  Finally, we found a surrogate mother in Wisconsin.  I drove to Wisconsin monthly and jacked off into a turkey baster.  The woman got pregnant, and my child got born.  My first wife wanted another child with all of her heart.  I couldn't do it again.  She pestered me about it constantly, wouldn't stop wouldn't stop wouldn't stop.  She even went behind my back to make arrangements with the woman in Wisconsin.  I had enough.  Just wanting something very badly isn't enough.  Instead she lost everything.  We lost everything.  To leave her, I lost everything.  But Passion isn't enough. My current wife wants me to quit Daily Strength.  She wants it SOO badly because she doesn't want all these poor, depressed women crying on my shoulders and turning my head so that I will leave my wife for them.  DS is my only connection to friends...to people who care about me...to people who understand.  The doctors said they didn't understand how much it meant to her, how passionate about it she was, so they want me to quit DS. But don't you understand?  Passion doesn't always count.  I've never been passionate about anything in my life, and I get rolled over by those who are.  So I never get anything that I want in my life.  Its always someone else who wants it more...wants it so much that its beyond reason...beyond all that is rational. I have to get what I want sometimes, or else, I don't exist. 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I guess that with this one I would write a list of pros and cons and see which list is bigger. Your wife and docs, IMHO, are asking something unreasonable of you. I can understand your needing to be on DS, as my need for DS is the same. All my friends are here, in fact, some have even become like family to me. It saddens me that you have this decision to make. I personally think that it is time that Steve does what Steve wants to make Steve happy with his life. Obviously doing it the other way has not worked and has caused nothing but loss, sadness and resentfulness. My heart hurts for you. I wish your wife could be more supportive and more secure, so that you could have it both ways... it isn\'t too much to ask. If she is that insecure with her place in this marriage, makes me wonder if it is worth putting her needs ahead of yours. I wish you the best, and hope that things turn out as you want them to. Big hugs!