One step forward

I'm not doing so bad today.  I made it through work without crying.  It helped alot that I was busy most of the day.  It's the boring days that really get to me right now, but they always have.  The weekend was just horrible, that was my two steps back.  I cried and slept as much as my body wanted.  Tonight is dinner with the kids and I never got to the store so we're having Chinese tonight.  They really don't care as long as there is food to eat and they are so understanding of what I am going through right now.  They are also a big help to me when I need it and a big part of the reason I go on.  Especially for my son.  We are so close and my love for him outweighs any feelings I have of just lying down and not getting up. Tomorrow  night is grief counseling.  I find myself looking forward to that time now.  It's a safe haven to express my feelings and not be judged. I am thankful today that I have my son.  He reminds me so much of Gene and he always manages to put a smile on my face, even when I'm in the depths of grief.