OK...it's Official I suck

Ok..It's Official.  I suck at keeping up with my journal lately.  I have no excuse other than laziness.  I have been tired and not getting moving early enough to journal before I go to work.  Still...no excuse and I hope I improve in it soon.  Saturday was one of the most awful panic attacks I have had in a long time.  I went to a guy's house for dinner..about 30 minutes away from home.  I took Remi with me and was already feeling rather shaky and had had some anxiety on Friday.  I had a moment where my heart acted up and I felt like I was going to pass out.  that immediately kicked me into massive panic and anxiety to the point where I could not tell how much of the tightness in my chest was anxiety and how much was actually my heart issue.  I took an extra dose and this guy was completely supportive and has suffered through anxiety most of his life also so he understood when I told him what was happening.   I don't think I want to be going anywhere by myself for a while.  I see the specialist next monday but I'm keeping a low profile until this thing is over with.  Going so far from home when my ex was out of town and I have no one else to come get me if I have a problem was not the smartest thing I ever did..well I AM blonde lol.  Sometimes I think it was stupid to move out.  I have no one else to count on when I am in trouble.  My mom is much too far away.