Ok, what you are experiencing is the cognitive dissonance; your brain is confused because he was nice and nasty. You are missing the \'nice\' part of him but please remember that that\'s NOT real! Only his nasty side is. He was nice occasionally (and very convincingly so) in order to keep you. If he was always awful to you, you would have left a long time ago! This is how he kept you with him; he said what you wanted to hear and did what you wanted him to do occasionally...
What could would should have been?? Nothing honey because you know what he is like, you have seen his true colours, and nothing and nobody can change that! The dreams you dreamt with him wasn\'t really with him but with an imaginary man you wanted him and hoped him to be. But that\'s NOT him so don\'t waste your energy on \'what ifs\'. Focus on yourself and your recovery and keep up the good work!
Replies
Well done with the NC hon!
Ok, what you are experiencing is the cognitive dissonance; your brain is confused because he was nice and nasty. You are missing the \'nice\' part of him but please remember that that\'s NOT real! Only his nasty side is. He was nice occasionally (and very convincingly so) in order to keep you. If he was always awful to you, you would have left a long time ago! This is how he kept you with him; he said what you wanted to hear and did what you wanted him to do occasionally...
What could would should have been?? Nothing honey because you know what he is like, you have seen his true colours, and nothing and nobody can change that! The dreams you dreamt with him wasn\'t really with him but with an imaginary man you wanted him and hoped him to be. But that\'s NOT him so don\'t waste your energy on \'what ifs\'. Focus on yourself and your recovery and keep up the good work!
Big hugs,
A xx