Not ready yet

I'm not ready to be around anyone drinking.  I need to start having discerning judgement.  I just let someone back in my lie who pushed me back into drinking, because they don't have any ambition and were using me for money.  I pray that I am finally done.  I am going to make peace with the past and not beat myself up for all I have lost because of this person.  I am just going to try not to let my emotions get the best of me and start to regrogram my mind to be attracted to people who are responsible, ambitious and respectful. Anyway, tired of thinking about him and yet another disappointment and diaster in my life.  Maybe I'll finally got it right.  I have to be proud that I finally stood up and said no (even though he pushes my boundaries and actual wouldn't leave when I woudl tell him or he woudl blackmail me into giving him money---nobody who pushes me when I say no shoudl be in my life).  The dirty work of finally getting him away from me is done.  Chapter closed.  In a week I will be back to feeling great.  This day three of being sober and luckily I have had the chance to meditate and cry and clean up, unhindered by having to put on a mask and go to work and pretend to be feeling something I'm not.  I am grateful for that, because too many times I have dealt with shitty people and horrendous situations and have had solider up and go somewhere for hours to be someones slave and not actually get the help I need.