Not getting any better

Having a horrible morning today.  The tears are hanging just behind my eyes and holding them back is giving me a terrible headache.  I miss Gene so much still that everyday is a struggle just to hang on and not give up.  Work isn't helping much as I'm not busy AT ALL and this gives me too much time to sit and think about missing Gene and being alone.  But I also hate going home anymore to that big empty house.  Gene used to fill it with his presence and now it's just too quiet and lonely.