new plan
I'm going to try to dump out my brain before I go to bed, I dont expect anything I write in this to make a bit of sence but heres to hoping I feel better afterwards.
my heart is so heavy, like something is gripping it tighter and tighter.
It feels as though a panic attack will happen but nothing is triggering it...
I'd kill for some ice cream right now.
I dont want to wake up so early for work...but I have to be an adult and pay bills.
I want to talk to my boyfriend, but I promised myself I wouldnt until he came to me.......why am I being so needy?
I can taste dust and hear the dull hum of the fan going in my room. I'd open the window but theres a hole in the screen and the mosquitos will get in.
I want someone to hold, so very badly, It doesnt need to be a lover, I just need someone to hold so I can hear their heartbeat and know that this is reality. I'm not dreaming.
I wish I had someone to stroke my hair and tell me its alright.
I need to pee.
Replies
I can relate to wanting someone to hold. Like you, it doesn't have to be a lover, but even a close friend. Closeness with other human beings.
Reminds me of something I read years ago: "There are those who search for meaning in other human beings. Rare or lucky are those who find it. For although we may not be alone in the universe, in our own separate ways, on this planet, we are all... alone."
Sleep well, dear Imiru. *hugs*
Sometimes it feels like our head is filling up faster and faster as we try to get everything done that needs to be done. Please take your days one hour at a time and just try to enjoy the small things.
Is there anyone that you can talk to that you can explain your feelings to or just hang out with that will bring some joy into your life. I will pray that you can find some peace in your life and be able to enjoy the little things that come your way.
Next time you go to the store and if you can, get that ice cream. Sometimes we just need to have some ice cream to help us feel better. I try not to keep it in the house, because it does not last long, but I do know what you mean about needing some good ice cream.
I hope you have a good night and if you ever need to talk just send me a message.