Need an escape ...

I don't know how I feel anymore, I don't know what I want. I'm happy with Colin, he's a great guy and really, he's the perfect guy for me... I could easily marry him and be happy for the rest of my life, but there's something drawing me back to Adam now that we're talking again and I don't know what to do. Colin knows everything said between Adam and I, we have no secrets, and nothing romantic or even anything insinuating old feelings has been discussed, we've simply just become friends again and I feel like there's a part of my heart that came back to life. I think of him and I feel excited and giddy... I feel happy... I hate that my ex can make me feel this way when it was Colin who made me feel this way not long ago. I've been so encompassed in everyone else's negativity and drama that I've begun feeling sad and depressed, and I think the simplicity of regaining a friendship I thought was gone for good is bringing me out of the darkness and confusing my emotions. 
I really want to go on a vacation, just me, myself and I. And maybe Alicia. Yeah... Alicia can come. I want a fun get-away, full of adventures and no drama, no thinking, no emotions, no anything. I want to sit by a beach and drink margaritas (or beer - more likely beer) and I want to just escape. I want to be free from everything and not have anyone else influence how I feel, at least just for a little while. Wouldn't it be nice?