My thoughts this morning
I feel that I would rather be alone than with somebody that hurts me! I just want to be alone after I move out.
I spoke a lot with my Mum and bff, and they both agree, and are supportive, which helps.
He wanted to take me out to dinner last night; I couldn't keep up with his mood changes; in the morning he was condescending... So I was polite but said No. I would've felt uncomfortable going out to dinner with him. This was the first time in a long time that I wasn't accommodating and didn't put his wish ahead of what I feel comfortable with. He was nice whole evening, and came to comfort me when I had a bad dream about lots of spiders (urghhhhhh) but it's not fooling me or changing my mind. I won't get back with him. I told him I just wanted peace, quiet and to feel comfortable. Like other PDs, he is not all bad, and he can be very sweet, generous and loving, it's just his controlling, manipulative, explosive, moody side that makes it not desirable (to say the least) to stay with him.
I do hope he'll get help and sorts himself out, but I'm done with counselling him; I'm focusing on me now. After exN walked out, I was dating 6 weeks later to 'take my mind off him'. I definitely won't be doing that again; will just carry on working on me and spend some quality time with myself. I don't want another relationship with a PD!!
I spoke a lot with my Mum and bff, and they both agree, and are supportive, which helps.
He wanted to take me out to dinner last night; I couldn't keep up with his mood changes; in the morning he was condescending... So I was polite but said No. I would've felt uncomfortable going out to dinner with him. This was the first time in a long time that I wasn't accommodating and didn't put his wish ahead of what I feel comfortable with. He was nice whole evening, and came to comfort me when I had a bad dream about lots of spiders (urghhhhhh) but it's not fooling me or changing my mind. I won't get back with him. I told him I just wanted peace, quiet and to feel comfortable. Like other PDs, he is not all bad, and he can be very sweet, generous and loving, it's just his controlling, manipulative, explosive, moody side that makes it not desirable (to say the least) to stay with him.
I do hope he'll get help and sorts himself out, but I'm done with counselling him; I'm focusing on me now. After exN walked out, I was dating 6 weeks later to 'take my mind off him'. I definitely won't be doing that again; will just carry on working on me and spend some quality time with myself. I don't want another relationship with a PD!!
Replies
Glad your parents are supporting you. That\'s really great that you are focusing on YOU now instead of him. As you are saying, I\'m sure you will be better off alone. *hugs*
I hear you on BP\'s- mine was absolutely wonderful most of the time, it was his \"evil\" side that I just couldnt handle. And it\'s not worth it.
Good for you for thinking of yourself and sticking to boundaries. I\'m glad you have good support. I LOVE being alone. It\'s so much calmer when it\'s just me. And I need to be alone now. NEED it. And yes, no more PD relationships- we know the red flags and are aware now.
((hugs))
Thanks Girls!
It\'s so hard both when he is being nice (I know it won\'t last, that it\'s just a phase...) or when he is aggressive, shouting and swearing (for the obvious reasons...) All these sudden changes are so confusing and so painful.
Yes, I\'m looking forward to being alone. Scared a bit but I need it.
A xx