My precious Steve
Hello friends,
What a roller coaster we are living on! We saw Steve's doctor last week and the cancer is growing! This time it is in the muscle under his right time. We were so disappointed with this news! He had to stop all treatments last July when he started getting so sick and his kidney began to fail. So with the nightmare he went through I should have suspected!
At any rate he started a new chemo last Thursday evening. It's called Inlyta. Scary side effects similar to Sutent but the one that scares me the most is high blood pressure. He has a difficult time with that anyway. All the years taking Sutent he was a much stronger person. All this happening since August has made him weaker. I have been so distraught that I have considered seeing someone to talk to and I asked him if he wanted to see anyone and he said, "the only one I am talking to is God". So my Steve is very strong in his faith.
So we go to dialysis 3 times a week 4 hours at a time. I drive him, with his objections, but he is very weak at times when he comes out.
Its a hard life but it is LIFE. So onward we go!
Please pray for us as we fight this all consuming battle!!
Much love to all,
Wanda in NC
What a roller coaster we are living on! We saw Steve's doctor last week and the cancer is growing! This time it is in the muscle under his right time. We were so disappointed with this news! He had to stop all treatments last July when he started getting so sick and his kidney began to fail. So with the nightmare he went through I should have suspected!
At any rate he started a new chemo last Thursday evening. It's called Inlyta. Scary side effects similar to Sutent but the one that scares me the most is high blood pressure. He has a difficult time with that anyway. All the years taking Sutent he was a much stronger person. All this happening since August has made him weaker. I have been so distraught that I have considered seeing someone to talk to and I asked him if he wanted to see anyone and he said, "the only one I am talking to is God". So my Steve is very strong in his faith.
So we go to dialysis 3 times a week 4 hours at a time. I drive him, with his objections, but he is very weak at times when he comes out.
Its a hard life but it is LIFE. So onward we go!
Please pray for us as we fight this all consuming battle!!
Much love to all,
Wanda in NC
Replies
Dear Wanda,
All I can say is that my heart goes out to you, and I do feel your pain, and understand all that you two are going through. No words of advice here, except maybe - yes to talk to a counselor - ask your own doctor for help to maintain your own health and strength, and remain the devout person you are and it will get you through these tough and ugly times.
Gloria
Wanda, I am so sorry to hear of Steve\'s cancer returning. I can only imagine how helpless you must feel. My numbers bottomed out and my oncologist took me off the Sutent for 6 weeks, a much shorter period of time than Steve, but I am now afraid of what the test results will be for my next scheduled CT and MRI. I think it would be a very good thing for you to seeking out a counselor to speak to. I am serioiusy thinking of doing the same thing as my family does not support me with this battle. I sometimes get to my breaking point and wish I could talk to someone. My Primary doctor recommended someone for me. I have the number and plan to call this week. I\'m sure you are strong in your faith like Steve but practice it in a different way. I\'ve never heard of the new drug he has. Perhaps it\'s new to the market.Since he is so weak when he leaves dialysis would it not be better to arrange a transport for him for safety\'s sake. After my first major surgery my remaining kidney would not start functioning and I was on dialysis. It took 6 weeks to get it going again. My heart goes out to him, it truly does. In order to get Steve through this bump in the road you must take care of yourself first. Please do try to seek counseling. Thoughts and prayers for both you and Steve coming from GA.
Sounds like so many other medications and treatments. The med cure will make you sick or worse. I hope this Inlyta works. Prayers your way.
Dear Wanda, I can understand how difficult this news is for you and Steve. You said it perfectly, it is a hard life, but it is life. The thing I am worried about for you is that this has been such a long road for you, that your reserves are drained. I think you should take some time to talk with someone. They can\'t change your circumstances, but they can listen and give you some strategies for caring for yourself. Caregives are so vulnerable as our dear friend Becca taught us.
It sounds like Steve is finding his way through this holding on to his faith as he travels down his road. Like you, I traveled my husband\'s road with him as long as I could. For me, a time came when I could no longer travel with him, I could only watch him go. I pray that there is still much road for you to travel with Steve. However, you need to make sure you are doing everything you can to also take care of you. This terrible disease challenges even the strongest of heart. Oh Wanda, I am really sorry you have to bear this pain. I wish I could do something more to help you. If you ever need to talk, I am here.
Keeping you, Steve and your family in my prayers. Love, Linda
Dear Wanda, I am so sorry to hear that Steve\'s cancer has returned! You both have gone through so much! I agree with GlorS & LSMS that you need to see a counselor. It helps so much to have support from someone else, who can give you ideas on how to cope.
Love, prayers & hugs to a wonderful couple,
Lois
My Dearest Wanda,
I know how frightening it is to learn this about the cancer growing. When Ray had the bronchoscopy in November, and we learned his had moved into the bronchial area, I felt like someone had hit me with a bat! You, Steve, Ray, and I were granted years of life with cancer that many never have. I thanked God for each day and hour, and know you are doing the same. If you need to see a Christian counselor...do it! There are no rights or wrongs on this journey. The only thing that is important is doing whatever it takes to take care of YOU! Being a fulltime caretaker brings unbelievable stress. Steve may be like Ray, in that he accepted what was happening...but I kept HOPE that he\'d pull out of this last valley, as he had so many times before. Well....he did, and is now walking the streets of gold with our beloved Jesus. As much as I hurt and miss him, I rejoice that he is no longer sick and struggling. Always remember that God is holding your hand, and will see you through each day.
I am always here for you, Wanda. Please do not hesitate to write and share your feelings with me. Remember....we are \"sisters of the heart\"....FOREVER! ]
I love you always,
Ingrid
Wanda, I am so sorry to hear this news. I hope that the new chemo will help.
You, Steve and all your family are in my prayers. Please take care of YOU. As Ingrid says, there are no rights or wrongs - just do what feels best to you.
My heart goes out to you.
Much love xxxx
I just said a prayer for you both...May God gently hold your hands and comfort you both..
Gentle hugs....................
Goodness my friend, many continued prayers for you both,
Luv and hugs from Texas
Annette
Ah dearest Wanda - this is hard news to hear. Tumour growth is the very worst thing, and yet - you\'re both still together, and how wonderful that Steve\'s faith is so very strong. You are both always in my prayers.
I think that a counsellor for you is a good idea. You can\'t share all your worries and fears with Steve, and I\'m sure, after living with this disease for so long, you desperately need an outlet. For talking, for crying, for speaking your worst fears out loud, and maybe then making them seem less terrifying. For trying to make some sense out of all this. Take good care of yourself my dear friend.
I still have hope for you and Steve as you continue on this road together. I send you love and blessings from over here
Meriel
Oh Wanda, I hated to hear the news that the tumor is growing. After your post about Ingrid I prayed so for all of you. Both of you ladies are so strong in the lord and strong of heart. I have always said that you wear yourself to thin, and the idea of a Christian counselor is a great one. You have been strong for so long, that it might be a good idea to have another spiritual person to share your load. I know you share so much with Steve, but at times it needs to be a third party. I do worry about your diabetes and how it effects you. As Ingrid says you have had so many wonderful times over the last years. I loved the pictures of Steve on the quad in the snow. Big smiles and family about. I continue to pray and hope that the new medication works. I pray for Ingrid as well. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.