Must remain hopeful

Well I've made it through a couple of face to face's with the place where I want to go to work at.  I took a drug screen and signed something they said was for a background check, so if all goes well, (if they don't find my misdemeanor larceny charge from1990) then I will be able to leave this hell hole. Honestly I don't know how much longer I can last if I don't make it out. I have to trust and believe, trust and believe I guess.  I am very anxious.  I am very calm.  let's try positive self talk, ... I am really very calm, I am okay.  In the meantime I have to get through this day, and the next and the next until they call me and make the real job offer.  I tend to do the negative cycle thing, I can be positive for awhile, then that negative talk will start and I have no control at times,  and the only way to make it stop is to say okay, I'll just end it all if it doesn't work out.  then the negative voice shuts up.