moved in
I moved into my new room this weekend. The wall is partially painted, the floor is partially laid, my closet is full of power tools and materials, my toilet is not installed and I lay down in bed, looked up and noticed that I can be clearly viewed from the living room above. To say the ceiling was not properly laid is an understatement.
The workmen also messed up the door openings. Not one is plumb, square or the right size. So I just screwed the doors on but they don't close properly because they wont fit. Another thing for me to fix later. Other doors are just leaning up against the opening because they are way taller than the opening (for some reason the mason made this door opening lower than the standard height.. don't ask me why).
The electricity has gone wonky, when the lights in the addition work the rest of the 2nd floor goes dead and vice versa. Trying to find a certified inspector to check out the whole house.
And the clincher .. I spent only 1 night in the new room before concluding it was WAY TOO SMALL, i.e. I have to remove a wall. Yeah .. know I'm crazy, but I'm also claustrophobic. The room was originally 21*25 feet. But then I put in a kitchenette and a verandah and now the remaining space feels like its closing in on me. So, kitchenette has to go bye-bye. Still need it but hey I have a 5000sq ft home. I can find space nearby, just not in my bedroom. Money wasted, effort wasted, time wasted .. I know. Blessedly the kitchenette fixtures had not yet been installed.
BTW : I'm the only person I know who does this but I have lived in this house 7 years and I have relocated my kitchen 5 times , the master bedroom has been in about 9 different locations and, interestingly enough the master bath has moved 4-5 times also.
I think its a compulsion. I sometimes think my home perfectly reflects my journey with BPD as well as CFS. Its a bit of a disaster zone which makes no sense to anyone but me. I do know though in the end it is going to be gorgeous and despite my 'foggy logic' decisions it is currently worth more than I have put in (so maybe I'm not so crazy after all).
Here is the sad part. I have not moved out of my old room but I checked this morning and the new one is actually tidier than the old one. So my choice is, live in the construction zone or the pig sty. Either way I have no energy cleanup right now. Sigh.
The workmen also messed up the door openings. Not one is plumb, square or the right size. So I just screwed the doors on but they don't close properly because they wont fit. Another thing for me to fix later. Other doors are just leaning up against the opening because they are way taller than the opening (for some reason the mason made this door opening lower than the standard height.. don't ask me why).
The electricity has gone wonky, when the lights in the addition work the rest of the 2nd floor goes dead and vice versa. Trying to find a certified inspector to check out the whole house.
And the clincher .. I spent only 1 night in the new room before concluding it was WAY TOO SMALL, i.e. I have to remove a wall. Yeah .. know I'm crazy, but I'm also claustrophobic. The room was originally 21*25 feet. But then I put in a kitchenette and a verandah and now the remaining space feels like its closing in on me. So, kitchenette has to go bye-bye. Still need it but hey I have a 5000sq ft home. I can find space nearby, just not in my bedroom. Money wasted, effort wasted, time wasted .. I know. Blessedly the kitchenette fixtures had not yet been installed.
BTW : I'm the only person I know who does this but I have lived in this house 7 years and I have relocated my kitchen 5 times , the master bedroom has been in about 9 different locations and, interestingly enough the master bath has moved 4-5 times also.
I think its a compulsion. I sometimes think my home perfectly reflects my journey with BPD as well as CFS. Its a bit of a disaster zone which makes no sense to anyone but me. I do know though in the end it is going to be gorgeous and despite my 'foggy logic' decisions it is currently worth more than I have put in (so maybe I'm not so crazy after all).
Here is the sad part. I have not moved out of my old room but I checked this morning and the new one is actually tidier than the old one. So my choice is, live in the construction zone or the pig sty. Either way I have no energy cleanup right now. Sigh.
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PS : I walked through my ground floor this weekend and it broke my heart. It really was the only part of the building which was actually completed (4 times actually). Last reno project was 2 years ago and the contractor got to about 95% completion but I got sick and you know...
Anyhoo was just walking around the rooms which have been unoccupied for 2 years and paint is peeling, bathroom is rusting out, its falling apart from simple lack of use and neglect. That makes me sad, I work so hard to make a beautiful home but thanks to CFS I cant keep up with maintenance. I am also not inclined at this time to deal with the stress of a renter, so its hard to tell whether the unfinished portions of the house look worse or the finished sections.
I was also looking at the finished sections which have been destroyed during the renovation, like the tile floors (plural) now covered in cement despite the ply and tarpaulins which were provided to the masons.
I sometimes wonder if I\'ll ever finish this house. Would be nice if when I put one portion together it stayed that way so I could focus on finishing rather than doing and redoing the same spaces over and over.
What the heck .. I look around and see people struggling to accomplish small fractions of what I already have.. and I am grateful.
wow...........................wow, wow............so much going on, so much to deal with........sweet max.......my goodness. i believe that it will come together, it will be wonderful.............and you will enjoy it so much!
praying for you...............for you, your home, for your son........for all the projects, for you to take time to enjoy each day......feel the breeze, see the beauty of the world you live in...........and do what can be done as you can do it.......don\'t let it overtake or drag you down...............soft hugs, xoxo
Take a break Max. Take a break. Think it over ------- figure out what the single most important thing is to you, and just take care of that. One thing at a time, one day at a time.
Ditto the above comments. Doing any remodeling was one of the things I cut out. Projects don\'t do so good for me, but we are all different. I\'m glad you have the big home to live in. Unfortunately it doesn\'t sound like you\'re enjoying it. Your life sounds very wearing. I hope you can trim the fat and find a peaceful spot to live. Hurts my head just to think about what you wrote. Take care.