Monday again

I realized I am still mad about how mean he has been this weekend.  I went to get up and go to the gym...He's the one pushing for me to go in the morining before work...I wanted to go after work..but I got up and got going...and he did I am waiting on his ass.  Slower than shit in Alaska.  Saturday night was awful...he was so drunk that the oldest told her grandma on the phone that he was drunk..he thinks he hides it from them. They are not 4 anymore and they certainly are not stupid.  It allowed me to have a talk with the oldest since she brought it up.  I was glad to hear that her mom has talked to her about the alcoholism in her family and how it could very easily be her someday...I feel much better..the kids will be ok.  When I asked him what he was drinking he got really mad.  I could see it was not beer..I suspect crown and coke but doesn't matter anyway...not my problem...How does that saying go??
Get off his back
Get out of his way
Get on with my own life.
Sunday he said something and I just snapped right back and he said he did not want to go with me to the gym so I took the dog and we ran around the park...ok..we ran a little and mostly walked fast. 
when I got back I told him he should find out if he can save any money on the gym membership since it appears like we aren't going to make it anyway.  I am so tired of being in trouble when I did not do anything wrong.  Last night he told me he did want me to go to the gym with him this morning...I got myself up and was ready...he was not.  It annoyed the crap out of me and by the time we got to the gym I got an extra hard run trying to burn off all my anger.  Monday...the start of another crappy week.  After finishing my homework last night though I treated myself to a new book.  Reading that history's such a dry me a headache.  I grabbed my nook...relaxed in the recliner and read a good werewolf smut novel. I am I always am...only if I was really alone I would not have to deal with all the shit.  I'm tired of being the gum on everyone's shoe.



You are surviving girl and learning what works best for you. You are making progress and in time will be able to see and appreciate it more.

:-) Patricia