Monday

Overall, it was a pretty good weekend.  It's nice to get away, and the mountains were beautiful.  By the time we got up there on Friday night, I ate, and then tried to read for a while, but could not keep my eyes open so I went to bed around ten.  My dog Remi loves going to the cabin.  It's an A frame and there is a loft above.  They have mattresses spread all around the loft for people to sleep on.  I think she thinks that is there just for her.  She totally stretched out next to me.  Saturday was very nice.  The men went fishing,  The kids spent most of the day at the General Store where there is Wifi, and I sat out in the sunshine reading my book.  Saturday night they were having a concert down at the general store. My boyfriend and I stayed to clean up, while everyone else went down for the music.  He made a big show of saying he sent everyone away so we could have alone time.  I said, How many have you had?  He got mad and said, what does that matter? DUH.  I can't stand being close to him when he reeks of alcohol and it makes me mad that pretty much the only time he is ever affectionate is when he's wasted. Of course, I am good at handling this now.  We sat outside keeping the bonfire going so the kids could make smores when they got back.  I know all I have to do is be quiet for a few minutes and he will fall asleep.  Right there in the plastic chair outside, he was out.

Again,  all my book reading has a double edged sword.  While I love them, and they keep me occupied,  they tell of men who actually WANT to hold their women in their arms, and have their back at all costs.  Yeah,  I read too much.  There is no such thing.  At this point I prefer to keep losing myself in fantasy. There was a time when I soaked up any little affection he would throw my way.  Now I see it for what it is.  I see him measuring me,  seeing if he's pushed too far.  Only throwing out enough line to keep me hooked,  to keep me from leaving.  He needn't bother.  I am not going anywhere until these last two semesters are done anyway. 

The only bad thing is all the snacks and foods that are not on my diet that they have while we are up there.  The only thing I couldn't pass up was the biscuits and gravy.  When it comes to bread and I have very little willpower and Diane's gravy is AMAZING.  Now I just have to see how much I set myself back this week. ugh. I didn't want to come back yesterday and the traffice was making me grumpy and I was not even the one driving.  He was off on Friday and had promised to do some of the laundry before he left so there would not be so much when we got back home.  He didn't.  Big surprise...but hey,  they had two coolers full of beer.  Priorities, right?