Miss it still
I still miss it sometimes.
Sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself besides work. When I am stressed and want to get away from work, I like to read, shop, exercise, dine out, or see movies, but there's only so much of that you can do before I wish I could gamble.
The urge when my fianc is away is especially bad. What am I going to do, go out with girlfriends? I tend to find that boring and mind-numbing after a while, honestly. And reading or watching movies on a Friday or Saturday night makes me feel lonely for some reason.
The casino took care of all of that for me -- the feelings of social interaction, excitement, getting dressed up and having somewhere to go, doing something I loved and was passionate about outside of work.
It wasn't worth it. But I need to acknowledge it sucks and it's hard and I miss it. It's going to be hard. I might start something like coding or pinball leagues or something, but it's never going to be what it was. I have to grieve that part. People like to say the worst day in recovery is better than the best day while gambling, but I disagree. It is better in the long run, but it sucks in the short term. It's incredibly hard and frustrating and I miss it like crazy sometimes.
Sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself besides work. When I am stressed and want to get away from work, I like to read, shop, exercise, dine out, or see movies, but there's only so much of that you can do before I wish I could gamble.
The urge when my fianc is away is especially bad. What am I going to do, go out with girlfriends? I tend to find that boring and mind-numbing after a while, honestly. And reading or watching movies on a Friday or Saturday night makes me feel lonely for some reason.
The casino took care of all of that for me -- the feelings of social interaction, excitement, getting dressed up and having somewhere to go, doing something I loved and was passionate about outside of work.
It wasn't worth it. But I need to acknowledge it sucks and it's hard and I miss it. It's going to be hard. I might start something like coding or pinball leagues or something, but it's never going to be what it was. I have to grieve that part. People like to say the worst day in recovery is better than the best day while gambling, but I disagree. It is better in the long run, but it sucks in the short term. It's incredibly hard and frustrating and I miss it like crazy sometimes.
Replies
it wouldnt be an addiction if we didnt miss it, dont worry the casino will always be there, just say I\'ll go tommorow if i want, and do that everyday....its not what your giving up, its what you are gaining, that will come in time
Thank you.