Mentally Ill.......
So, I had a really weird and unexpected experience last night. I have an instagram account that I started about a year ago where I post pics that I take here in Thailand, some of myself but mostly I post art. I make collages of different images and art pieces and put it up as a singular piece. A lot of times the art has a theme that can grasped, but there is also some inexplicable randomness in there. I do this as a cathertic meditiion I realized. It's a release fo rme, I feel like I get something off my chest or put something together that I couldn't quite put together in words or in my real life. I have many people that like my stuff--I use hashtags to attract other artists. I really enoy instagram because I get to check out other people's accounts and I have been exposed to so many amazing artists and also have access to portals to some other realities. I'm a very visual person, so I really love instagram.
Well, on facebook, there has been a guy that I have been internet friends with for years at this point. I never met him in real life . I think he works in the financial field, he is older probalby 45 or 50, I'm not sure. We have chatted some, but really I like him because on facebook he woudl always post art pieces. All kinds of art and from a lot of obscure artists. I loved it. Recently he started chatting me up and was even talking about visiting Thailand. He always liked and shared all my posts. So, the other day he posted an art piece on facebook and I took it and used it on one of my instagram collages. I tagged him in the piece since he was the one that the I found the picture through. I also tagged the original artist as well. So, he left a comment last night saying "I don't like your collages and think they are hard to interpret. Honestly, you sound mentally ill. I wish teh best for your".....He said I sounded mentally ill because I usually have captions or comments or hashtags to my pieces that are kinda obscure references to different songs, books, histories, ideas, theories, etc. etc....I put it out there, often not very well marked (ie I don' tsay "this qutoe is from this book written by so and so"....i'll just put a line from the book and leave it dangling) to see if anyone gets it. Also, when you put a hashtag with something like that it's kinda neat to see how is looking up that topic and stumble upon your IG page.
Anyway, it erally upset me last night. To be called mentally ill from someone I respected. I wrote him a long response but it bugged the hell out of me. Today he wrote me back and sorta apologized, and then as we were digitally parting ways, I just reiterated "hey, be careful calling people mentally ill. its not cool or consturctive, it's really only beligerent". he told me to fuck off, to delete him, to go away. so i did, i blocked him on instagram and facebook. but it was just so weird. it made me think a lot. he said that he was going through some weird stuff with his roommate which is was affecting him.....but, yeah, i think that post about me being mentally ill is more a reflection of himself. the paradigm of mentally ill and mentally healthy is valid, but to say it in a context of an instagram comment, and to not even have met me in person....it's like.....an attack. whats the point? "you are sick, you are fucked up, you are messed up, somethings *wrong with you*".....i don't know, not cool in my book.
on the upside, i have been sober 3 weeks now, and I am getting stronger everyday. This comment also is fueling me to stay sane, be strong and pursue my long term goals. to kinda prove the haters wrong. something else cool happened today but i can't qutie flesh it out right now because i i have to teach 4 hours at the language school today so i have to prepare some lessons right now. then i teach online later. life is good though. and you know? that this guy is disturbed by art shows me that what i am putting together has an *effect*. thats what art is for, a lot of it. to make you feel something, to bring something out of you, to make you think.
ok ok breathe breathe breathe! life is cool. :)
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I know I am weird, but mentally healthy. When the treatment ended. The therapist told me that I am healthy and comfortable with myself. A lot of the weirdness comes from my high IQ and simply from seeing things on a different level than other people. I love to go to the naked beach. I can see that we are just like the other animals. Clothes were developed for protection from the elements. Understanding society, I don't run down the street naked. I save the nudity for the beach.
I am frist to admit that when I first soberer up, I was a basket case. The drinking fucked me up. As the sober days piled up, what appeared to be mental illness was just alcoholism. Psychiatrists like to wait, for some sober time, before making diagnosis. My friend was commuted, to a mental hospital, until his symptoms disappeared. They realized that he was only an alcoholic, and released him to a recovery program.