Man oh man

It's been months since my mom died and I still feel the sting of it. My girlfriends dad died last week and she's been freaking out and needing me and I have not been the partner that she needs. For some reason I am completely selfish and am not taking care of her because I feel like my mom has died all over again. I'm going to be strong from now on. I also lied to her over the weekend about something in a car and I just feel freaking horrible that I haven't been there. I'm not going to my Thanksgiving and i am scared to death about what is going to happen with that. I've always gone to the Thanksgiving because I felt that I had no other choice but I chose to be with my girlfriend on this day and I just don't know. I'm scared to death and I'm freaking out and I'm trying to be there for my girlfriend and I'm FREAKING OUT!!!