lousy night
I had a bad nights sleep, slept to long on the couch, kept waking up in pain with my knee and hip yet didn't get up. finally got up around 2:00, and was unsettled for awhile trying to get comfortable. I wish they had a heating pad that would automatically go on and off at the right times.
I did however enjoy the movies with my niece last night, it was so fun going with her, she will be turning 25 in November. we saw Divergent, the first in a trilogy of books and it was of course not as good as the book but if you hadn't read it you wouldn't know. my sister was going to "speak" to rich, her husband, again last night about him filling out the divorce and financial papers, he is refusing to. I understand he doesn't want to and I lot of it is likely finicail, but the girls know and we all now for a long time, he has to make a move and then it can proceed, it is not healthy for anyone in the their family.
my neighbor bill isn't doing good at all. he cant walk, his bad leg finally gave out and he is now in rehab with a brace on it but the doctors at the hospital told the family he cant go home and live alone. I am so sad for him, moving out of his home will for choice be a death that wont take long to happen, he is a my home man. I am so sad for me, selfishly, I cant bear the thought of him not there anymore. I don't even like the time he has been away.
I haven't been doing very good eating and I am finding ED is trying and winning way to often. I think I have lost weight, I am going to susans today to find out. I am losing my appetite, and am not feeling all that bad about it. I will still eat at my meal times but smaller amounts. I don't know what it is about, is it attention seeking, wanting people to worry about me or is it all about me and my stupidty?
it is a rainy day here, a lull right now and I should walk nala for a short walk, but no desire right now. nala woke me up at 5:30 to go out, I let her back in and she is used to being fed right away but that wasn't happing, I went straight back to bed and slept until 8:00, latest in a very long time. so now I feel I have to get busy and get to work. laundry to do and I haven't even folded the laqundry I did before! so sick of myself, feel like a loser, with not doing anything about work, not making any meals for my parents, my battle with ed, my looks, my money situation that I am causing myself and on and on. I feel so stupid and like a loser.
hugs everyone
I did however enjoy the movies with my niece last night, it was so fun going with her, she will be turning 25 in November. we saw Divergent, the first in a trilogy of books and it was of course not as good as the book but if you hadn't read it you wouldn't know. my sister was going to "speak" to rich, her husband, again last night about him filling out the divorce and financial papers, he is refusing to. I understand he doesn't want to and I lot of it is likely finicail, but the girls know and we all now for a long time, he has to make a move and then it can proceed, it is not healthy for anyone in the their family.
my neighbor bill isn't doing good at all. he cant walk, his bad leg finally gave out and he is now in rehab with a brace on it but the doctors at the hospital told the family he cant go home and live alone. I am so sad for him, moving out of his home will for choice be a death that wont take long to happen, he is a my home man. I am so sad for me, selfishly, I cant bear the thought of him not there anymore. I don't even like the time he has been away.
I haven't been doing very good eating and I am finding ED is trying and winning way to often. I think I have lost weight, I am going to susans today to find out. I am losing my appetite, and am not feeling all that bad about it. I will still eat at my meal times but smaller amounts. I don't know what it is about, is it attention seeking, wanting people to worry about me or is it all about me and my stupidty?
it is a rainy day here, a lull right now and I should walk nala for a short walk, but no desire right now. nala woke me up at 5:30 to go out, I let her back in and she is used to being fed right away but that wasn't happing, I went straight back to bed and slept until 8:00, latest in a very long time. so now I feel I have to get busy and get to work. laundry to do and I haven't even folded the laqundry I did before! so sick of myself, feel like a loser, with not doing anything about work, not making any meals for my parents, my battle with ed, my looks, my money situation that I am causing myself and on and on. I feel so stupid and like a loser.
hugs everyone
Replies
*hugs* You are not stupid or a loser. You just have to take care and not let ED win. I\'m pretty sure it\'s stress. I\'m really sorry to hear about Bill... I know what a good friend he is to you. You are so sweet to check on your neighbor.. I only know a few people in my apartment complex.
I haven\'t been there for him in rehab, I find it so difficult to go, I did the same thing with my beloved granny, I rarely visited her when she got to the nursing home. I plan on going, yesterday an example but I didn\'t, this is very bad, he needs me now more then ever and I need to get over myself. I will go tonight and I know he will say, did you get lost or did you forget me?
I am thinking of you. The hip and the knee thing, well, I thought am I the only one going through that? It does have to do with lifting and our age. Happy Birthday my dear friend, and I see your birthday isn\'t far from mine. We have a lot in common. Many Many hugs and lots of birthday wishes for a special friend.