I belong nowhere. No matter how much I try and change things I am just a waste of energy on this planet. I will always be the broken girl...there is no making it better. The glass is not only half empty at all times...it has a hole in the bottom.
My anxiety is through the roof today. No real reason but I also feel myself dwelling on sad/bad things. there is no way to explain or describe to someone how when the anxiety is this bad it is like a short circuit in the brain. I cannot make simple decisions and am unable to do simple tasks at work. I am such a negative person...always focusing on the bad and not the good. I wish I could be one of those people that is just happy to be by myself but I know that is not my personality. The problem is this level of negativity tends to push people away pretty quickly.
I hate that broken brain feeling...makes it that much harder to get through the day. the people and the struggles around me may change, but always the same broken brain.
Sometimes when I notice different parts of my personality I can see how multiple personality disorder could actually become a real thing. On the one hand I am scared of my own shadow, on the other is that other personality that things the scared one is a weak bitch and just needs to suck it up and get on with life.