Lonely Again

Feeling really lonely tonight.  Gene's birthday is coming up and it's already starting to make me feel more sad than I have been.  Watching TV just isn't what I feel I should be doing, but I don't have the ambition to do anything else.  Everything I did was because of Gene and I just haven't been able to get past this feeling that nothing really matters anymore without him here.  No one can understand what I'm going through and don't know what they can do for me.  I just need people to be here for me right now but they aren't.  Who wants to be around someone who is so sad and lonely all the time--no one.