I feel so alone today and I can't figure out why.  I guess because it's a family holiday with picnics and barbeques and I'm sitting here all alone.  It's also the date that Gene and I originally moved into together in our first apartment.  The pain just doesn't go away.  I miss him as much today as I did the day he left this earth.  It's been quite a journey this far, but I still have my days when the grief just hits and there is nothing I can do but let it take over me and let it all out.
On the bright side, the kids will all be here tomorrow.  I just got back from the grocery store with all kinds of goodies for them tomorrow.  They are my life and light right now.  I don't know what I'll do when they all start moving on.  Maybe by then I'll be in a better place in my life.
My refrigerator died and I had to get a new one.  It's nothing fancy, just a frig but I now have frozen food instead of mushy food.  I had to throw alot away.  The cat got into a fight and had this huge marble sized lump on her ear but it seems to be clearing up now.  My new riding mower has been giving me trouble starting but one of the boys looked at it and all that it needed was the wires tightened on battery.  Just feel like I've been having such bad karma so send some good karma my way.  I could really use it.
I got my first facial yesterday.  I had gotten a gift certificate for my birthday and finally made the appointment to get it done.  Next Saturday I'm using it to get an hour massage.  Can't wait.



The biggest blessing is that you have family that comes over and you have fun. Sweetie, we talked about your bad days and you are doing great. I think that most have good and bad days, you know. Please know I love you so much and will try to call this week - hugs and xoxoxo