limited function.
with limited function comes new realities.
less energy than usual. less everything.
putting what is left into self care.
fresh soup. fresh banana bread. homemade tapioca pudding. fresh celery sticks, carrots and roma tomatoes.
the little things help exponentially.
so tired.
have a cold. the kind that makes for an itchy throat and a kermie the frog voice. been having night sweats for two or three months now.
i had gotten used to store sweats. sort of......by the third store on a day out i would break out in sweats....primarily neck, head, hair...general misery. a feeling of wanting to disappear behind a curtain of gentle rain and coming out on the other side fluffy, clean, fresh and dry.
life isn't bringing a lot of ........not sure what it's not bringing. just mostly here in take care of the sparrow mode.
got lots of upcoming appts.....medical & dental. not sure how it will all come together. pray, pray pray.......pray some more.
.....didn't want to cook yesterday but the ground beef had to be used or else, same with the bananas.....and the milk. so instead of losing all that food it became something delicious and home made. after it was all done i slept from mid afternoon until 9 pm at night.
these night sweats are crap. wake up bathed in sweat.....and a feeling of misery. try so hard to be still, to stay silent, ride it out. pray for the Lord to be with all of us in the midnight hours.....when we can often feel lost and afraid.
well handbasket hell.......just fished a container of jewelry cleaner out of the washing machine. will this make my clothes sparkle like diamonds???? i was going to soak some earrings in the cleaner, must have put the cleaner in the basket of laundry along with drinking glasses from the night stand. put the glasses in the wishwasher, but forgot about the jewelry sparkle maker liquid.
bummer, another $5 down the drain.....literally. bills are paid. cats are fed. making eggs for me in a hot minute. it will all work out. one day at a time.......one hour at a time, one minute, one second.......one nap, one shower........when the road is rocky keep breaking it all down into doable tasks. be good to yourself.......hold on tight, new memories will come in time.
here's to better brighter more joyous days. i got two books.....one is bible verses broken out into chapters. first chapter addresses ANGER. sounds like it was meant for me. i have a lot of inward anger lately. the other book? it's about a young woman in a poverty stricken nation that forbids God. belief in, faith for.....thou shalt not have Bibles. punishable by death. the young woman is drawn to those who believe. she is fearful of what will happen to her, to her family. she asks God for three things. the first thing is shoes. something she knows is impossible for a family with no means......pray for strong enough sight to read this book.
time to turn to that which lifts up......that which reminds us of faith. of hope, of future........so tired now. love to all. tired little birdie in the southern united states
Replies
The books sound great. I love to read when I can. I know what you mean about limited function. I've recently had to accept a lower level of functioning than I was used to. It's a bugger. I'm always happy to hear about your food, though. It always sounds delicious. I'm going to have chickpeas in salsa verde. The rest of the family got pork, but I'm cutting down on meat. Gonna go lie down. I'm sure you understand. Love you.
Hi Ruthie. Sorry to hear you have a nasty cold. I know exactly how you are feeling with the night sweats. I have them every night not just once but over & over. Some nights have to get up and change my night gown. Now I've got that weird rash back...all over the trunk of my body. My internal thermostat isn't working right.
Homemade food, yummy. I made home made soup yesterday. Gonna have some again tonight. Kennedy is coming over for a sleepover tomorrow. Think we will make homemade pumpkin pie together. I posted a few pics in my journals...if ya want to take a look. Sending prayers & positive light in your direction. Love you sweet friend. Hang in there. < big hug xo
It's hard when we have lots of appointments, I hear Ya! We have to take care of ourselves though, right?
I wear store sweats. They're Comfy!
Blessings and big hugs to you, Sparrow!
Sorry bout the Cold! Tis the season!
Ruthie, I struggle with the night sweats all of the time. Almost every night - no fun. I have to change some or all of my pjs most nights. Nothing I do makes any difference - more blankets, less blankets, turn the thermostat up, turn the thermostat down.....So, I feel your pain. It is unpleasant to wake up feeling like that and I'm sorry you are dealing with it too. Your homemade food sounds delicious and I hope your tummy cooperates enough for you to enjoy it. Its hard to prepare food when you feel crummy - freshness dates on food force us to feed ourselves with healthy food! I hope your cold doesn't hang on to long, and I will be praying for all of your upcoming medical procedures. Those are hard to face especially when you don't feel well enough to push through the tests. Take care and enjoy your books. They sound like they will be encouraging.
Jewelry cleaner in the washing machine ......... I hope the jewelry didn't go in the washer, too!
Doctor's and dentists. ......Ugh. I hope you can make a way to work around and in between appts to save some energy and take care of yourself. "Cold and itchy throat - now hear this: be gone! Ruthie has had enough!"
Oh yes, I'm in the midst of visits to the specialists (some 6 month follow-ups), too so I really feel for you. I did have a laugh about the jewellery cleaner in the washing machine. I spend a lot of my life looking for things I had five minutes before and they do turn up in strange places. Hope your sneezy cold is on the improve, Ruthie. Thinking of you. Hugs and love xxxx