Lifetime self-ban in neighboring state

Self-banned yesterday in all casinos in a neighboring state. I already self-banned in my own state on June 24, 2015. But I felt like I wanted to drive 45 min to an hour and go to the one across the border too often.
It was hard. I hadn't stepped foot in a casino in 31 days yesterday, and I had to go in to self-ban. I thought I would be proud of myself for not wanting to gamble when I went into it, but I was dying to go and gamble. I had my significant other with me and he insisted that he hold onto my wallet. I didn't place a bet. But I missed it so much: the smells, the games, the action. 
It was really hard to go back in.
So, yeah, that made yesterday hard.
Today I woke up to see roses from my fiance and a card. I think he's proud of me. I saw my parents, and they were incredibly supportive. Which was really nice. 
I just want for this recovery to be over. But it's so hard. I wish there was just a pill somebody could give me so it could be over with.