Life is hard
I have been super emotional like to the point I start sobbing randomly and I dont know why. This morning on the bus I started crying. Yesterday in class and at the track meet I started crying. Today in class, at Dollar General, and at dinner.
Life is so overwhelming and I just started my period so all of these emotions are hitting me. My family knows I started and my brother keeps picking on me and I am getting mad very easily. He knows that is is making me mad and he continues to say shit to me that makes me mad. Then my little brother tells me to tell Kaden to stfu and I dont because my dad is right next to me and he doesnt like it when I cuss. Well my dad gets up from the table and grabs the FUCKING TASER! And tries to tase me! Like seriously what is wrong with you! I get up as quickly as I could and I tried to run to my room but I slipped in the kitchen and I was laying on the floor just crying because how much that scared me. then kaden throws pizza at me. I hurt my leg more. I tried to get up and I couldnt so I ask lincoln to bring me my food and i sat on the floor eating dinner. abt 5 mins later I found a way to help myself up and i put my plate in the sink. My brother threw more pizza at me and then my dad tried to tase me again. And erica is just saying like "dont mess with the bear" to me. And im crying trying to tell her that I didnt do anything. I grab my ice cream and i go to my room and kaden follows me and keeps messing with me. I finally got him out of my room and I crying and I cant stop. What is wrong with ppl?!!!???
Replies
Then be happy then.
I think their the ones that are miserable and they see your happy and don't like it. People are like that.
That's true.
It not just that tho. I am fighting so much mentally
What are you fighting about?
Whats on your mind?
You can talk to us.
Unless you feel more comfortable PM it.
Yeah. That's what I meant.
Just knowing yall care makes me so happy. I have been to scared to talk to anyone about it.
So many people are just showing me that they dont care about me. Y'all know how I was there for McKenna when her bf broke up with her. I helped her through all of that and recently she has just been ignoring me unless she is asking me for stuff. Like she is just using me and that hurts so bad.
The only people I really have at this point is Cailyn, Caylin, Kennedy and Rylee. Everyone else i dont know if they really care about me.
I feel so unwanted and replaced by everyone. I have been trying to smile and look happy at school but I cant hide it anymore.
We love you Shy and only want the best for you. We want you to be happy.
Rejection and being abandoned like that is hard. I think about those who left but I have to think where I went since it happened. I notice I'm on a better path or where I'm going is sending me in the direction I need to be in. It's hard when that one thing hits and you can't stop thinking about what happened. I'm not just talking about daddy. There's people. You have to give yourself 3 or 4 minutes to grieve it then move on for a bit. It's not easy at first but you'll get better at it.
Ik. I want that too and I am really tryin to be happy again but its so difficult when others around me dont even care abt me
I have recently lost so many people in my life. At this point it shouldnt faze me. I wanna just be numb. I dont wanna feel this
Those people that don't care about you get rid of them. Keep the good ones close by. Those are your real friends.
Numb is actually a bad thing. It means the trama has become so routine that your mind is getting use to it. I heard someone say, pain is the weakness leaving the body. Ik it's hard to get stronger from what doesn't kill us but that's basically what it is.
I am gonna get really quiet around McKenna, see if she notices. I have already been distancing myself from her for that past 2 days.
Maybe being numb isnt what I want