learning to stop lieing

I had some time to think for a change as I finished a new book called, " a monster calls." If I hadnt been reading it at work on my breaks I would have cried because if was incredibly touching for such a short story. It also made me realize how cruel I've been to myself. I should be absolutely 100% honest with myself at all times because I have to live with myself far more than anyone else in my life. I took the time to meditate in my car at the end of lunch and admit that yes, of course I still love my ex, and thats ok. But I know that I'm not 'IN' love with him. I also know that my love for him will fade away with time and thats why I've been so angry and reluctant to admit it. I've always hated saying goodbye to people I come across and get to know. Its one of the hardest most stubborn things about me, letting go after I've learned to love. 

But now that I can acknowlege it with myself. Cry and talk to myself kindly, I know that I can move on completely and never look back.