Learning Curve
I'm learning as I go. What else is not new?!
First, it was very helpful to just say "I'm Sad" on Friday and feel so much affirmation from you all. I think I have learned that I may finally have the best reason of all to take better care of myself. Tired=fragile, and perhaps a dangerous lack of perspective. Not that there's anything wrong with admitting I'm sad, or owning the grief and the loss.
Second, it seems like I might have misunderstood some FMO etiquette and hurt some feelings by not always responding to things. Here's what it is: my laptop is on or my work PC is on with internet sites open, but I'm away from it... or working away in some other program. And, the email address I entered for this group is one I only check once in a great while.
So I don't see all the journal entries, I don't see all the IM's that float by, etc. Please, dear friends, don't think I am intentionally disregarding you or sending you some silent message. I'm really not the 'silent message' type! If I ever have issues with people, I ask them if we can talk about it.
Just know I'll be back when I'm back. If you ever need me STAT you can let me know by jumping up and down. Ho ho I guess that won't work. If you REALLY need me in an emergency, email me at sarah.lindentree@gmail.com. That will get through, no matter what I'm up to. 'K?
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I said silent prayers for Barbara all weekend. Sending whispered words of comfort. I know how much she doesn't want to let go... life has such a strong call. Andy didn't want to let go either. It was truly a blessing that his brain got knocked out by bleeds, so the last couple of days he was awake he was not struggling emotionally... just a wonderfully goofy sweet love-bunny. So many things for which I give thanks.
First, it was very helpful to just say "I'm Sad" on Friday and feel so much affirmation from you all. I think I have learned that I may finally have the best reason of all to take better care of myself. Tired=fragile, and perhaps a dangerous lack of perspective. Not that there's anything wrong with admitting I'm sad, or owning the grief and the loss.
Second, it seems like I might have misunderstood some FMO etiquette and hurt some feelings by not always responding to things. Here's what it is: my laptop is on or my work PC is on with internet sites open, but I'm away from it... or working away in some other program. And, the email address I entered for this group is one I only check once in a great while.
So I don't see all the journal entries, I don't see all the IM's that float by, etc. Please, dear friends, don't think I am intentionally disregarding you or sending you some silent message. I'm really not the 'silent message' type! If I ever have issues with people, I ask them if we can talk about it.
Just know I'll be back when I'm back. If you ever need me STAT you can let me know by jumping up and down. Ho ho I guess that won't work. If you REALLY need me in an emergency, email me at sarah.lindentree@gmail.com. That will get through, no matter what I'm up to. 'K?
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I said silent prayers for Barbara all weekend. Sending whispered words of comfort. I know how much she doesn't want to let go... life has such a strong call. Andy didn't want to let go either. It was truly a blessing that his brain got knocked out by bleeds, so the last couple of days he was awake he was not struggling emotionally... just a wonderfully goofy sweet love-bunny. So many things for which I give thanks.
Replies
A learning curve it is... always. I\'m so glad that we are each able to come here and to BE who we are in the moment and that others allow us that grace. Sometimes we just need to feel sad and don\'t want to be \"pulled\" out of it other times we may be asking for a cosmic two by four to give us a swift kick. I didn\'t know there was an FMO etiquette??? I think too allowing everyone the benefit of knowing that we each have very full lives and give what we can when we can here in love which you always do! Lots of continued self care dear Sarah and I did howl by the way... my neighbors are used to it. :) Love you sweet one and the learning continues for each of us. XO Joanie
While you only get out of it what you put into it, don\'t ever let anyone make you feel like you HAVE to be here. I\'m sorry, but this, for you, should be about YOU. Many of us need to take a step back sometimes and we all have lives that need to be lived outside of these boxes. Love & hugs to you, my dear! Colleen
Fragility is the result of our grief....this flesh is a burden most of the time...I have to feed my spirit with God\'s teachings and try to understand these things that are so very sad. I pray you will soar on eagle wings to a higher strength. Thank you for being available with love and empathy for your sisters here at FMO. Your sweet kindness is so needed. Much peace and passion for we who tend to tears.....love, dale...brandon\'s mom
There is no FMO etiquette...as far as I know. We all just do what we can when we can to help and support each other. I have never felt I have to respond to everyone everyday. There are some days that you just can\'t or don\'t feel capable of responding. Please don\'t put the pressure on yourself to think you do. Give what you are capable or giving not what you think others expect of you. Hugs, Ann
Thank you dearies, a very unspoken informal etiquette or set of expectations it may be then, by which I HAVE accidentally hurt a couple of people\'s feelings, without ever having had anything less than appreciation and respect for each and every mom. I know I can come and go... just saying for one and all that if I do not reply to messages and IM\'s: please, never take it as a message of negative emotional content. Me love this place! Me busy! : }
that was \"cookie monster\" voice :o)
Sarah, if there\'s an FMO etiquette, I never knew about it. Some messages are written in a way that really are kind of a closing out of the conversation, to which I don\'t reply. I would think that would be understood by all. And there are times when I just can\'t get to my messages for all the stuff n\' such that is going on around here....I do my best to answer people, but once inawhile it\'s impossible. I wouldn\'t worry about it if I were you. We all know that we live complicated lives and that there are times when we can\'t to everyone without spending half a day. Depends on how many groups you are a part of. I have a long list. I love to talk to everyone, so I try. I hope everyone understands if it takes awhile. Bless you.
Becky
sorry if someone has had expectation of you. I don\'t really understand that you may have hurt feelings by not responding. If so I have probably hurt a lot of people....I feel the comments are for me and no response is necessary unless I feel I want to share something with someone....Take care dear friend we have enough on our plate.
We all do what we can and when we can,,,so many journals,,so little time,,,so many friends that are in need... just do what you can...peace, Nora
I can\'t imagine you hurting anyone\'s feelings, real or imagined. I always like to read your posts and so appreciate your input and honesty - especially since I also lost my son to cancer and so understand that particular pain and struggle. Off to get a cookie, now!!!!!!!!!!!!! love Joanna
... A\'s sweet Mum-Rah ... with sword of heart feathers ... and mighty force of comfort whispers ...
Hi Sarah, I\'m learning as I go too. There does seem to be a kind of \"usual\" way of responding here. I think those that have been here the longest, have a closer relationship and tend to be a bit extra responsive. It\'s only natural since they have \"held\" each other the longest. We just try to do what we can with the energy and time we have that day and hope it\'s taken in the right spirit!
Just know that we love you...you should do whatever you need to do for you. This site is for love, support and understanding...where other mothers can help each other. So be sad...feel what you need to feel...and please come back. You contribute so much and help others while you are working through your own grief...you provide wisdom and thoughtfulness so please know we will miss you until you return...love and hugs...Karen
No etiquette, but some fragility. We understand, we all only do what we can when we can. Sending you big hugs and lots of love because I\'m sitting right beside you being sad with a full plate. Lynette
I didn\'t know we had FMO etiquette other than to show kindness. If you can\'t respond to a journal or miss a chat, I think that\'s perfectly acceptable. Learning right along with you even after three and a half years. Love to you friend. Robin