LAST NIGHT

Last night I got really down, and cried and prayed my self to sleep.  I prayed that God would give me understanding why Kenny had to die.  I haven't figured it out yet, although I know Ken had cancer.  But cancer has hit our family several times and everyone survived.  I guess that is what I felt Ken could do.  Of course, we don't know what the body will do when the cancer cells appear.  They say they are always, there it is just how our immune system handles it.  One day it can look like a bad cell the next day it can look like a normal cell.  Then that is when the cancer will begin.
I have been told that by the time you find a tumor, you had had it for eight years.  So if that is true then Ken lived with it for 10 years and 20 days.
Then your told they are slow growing, or fast growing,  We never got an answer to what is means to be fast or slow.  Ken's dad had cancer while we were together.  That was in 1979,  There was really no treatment for his, but we tried it anyway.  Then there was the power of God in how I felt.  My mom has had it twice and not one time has she has had treatment.  So I guess our family got a little immune to the fact that Yes Cancer Kills.  Now that I have to face that fact, but it is something I still don't understand.  To all of you out there that are survivors, I pray that it continues.  Ken's I think was pretty far by the time they found it.  He did chemo, radiation, stem-cell transplant, but it still got him in the end.  I know Ken fought hard and long to beat this thing.  But I guess his body just didn't have enough strength to pull through.  I know he suffered dearly the entire 2 years and I know the last 3 months when the tumor went to the brain, it was physically and mentally to him.
So some how I now have asked God to help me understand.
Sandi