knee surgery
IT HAS BEEN QUITE A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE BEEN ON THIS SITE. I WAS IN A LITTLE DOWNWARD SPIRAL FOR A WHILE AND THEN I HAD A TOTAL KNEE REPLACEMENT ON JANUARY 11TH. STAYING IN THE HOSPITAL AND THEN BED WAS DEPESSING.
AND AS YOU ALL KNOW, THEN THE HOLIDAY, THEN THE ANGEL DAY, IT JUST NEVER ENDS. WELL, I GOT MY ACT TOGETHER. THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO BRING JACKIE BACK. I MISS HER SO MUCH. I GO TO P.T. AND FOR ME ITS LIKE SOCIALIZING. ITS SO CRAZY, EVERYDAY I CAN HAVE A DIFFERENT FEELING. ONE DAY I'M OK AND ACTUALLY HAVING A GOOD TIME. THE NEXT DAY I CRY AND CRY ALL DAY LONG. IT IS A C ONSTANT BATTLE. JACKIE'S FRIEND HAD A MASS SAID FOR HER ON HER ANGEL DAY. MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS CAME AND I TOOK EVERYONE TO BREAKFAST AND THEN THE CEMETERY. WHEN I GOT HOME, I WENT INTO BED AND SLEPT ALL DAY. I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT DAY IS OVER. I TALK TO JACKIE EVERY NIGHT AND ASK HER TO PLACE COME TO ME AGAIN. TO BE ABLE TO SEE HER WAS A MIRACLE. A VISION AND I KNOW I'M NOT NUTS., SHE CAME TO ME AND USED MY ENERGY TO GET THROUGH THAT'S WHY I FELT THAT NERVOUS AND SCARED FEELING GO THOUGH ME AND THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS WATCHING ME. IT WAS JACKIE. IF I COULD ONLY GET THAT BACK. I KNOW I SHOULD BE GRATFUL FOR THAT MOMENT AND I KNOW SHE WANTED ME TO KNOW SHE WAS OK.. BUT SUCH A MIRACLE MAY HAPPEN ONCE. I KNOW NOW THAT SHE IS OK AND IN NO MORE PAIN. SEEING THAT SMILE ON HER FACE LET ME KNOW THAT.
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR LOVE AND COMFORT ON JACKIE'S ANGEL DAY AND I PRAY THAT ALL OF YOU WOULD BE AS LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH A MIRACLE HAPPEN. MY SON SORT OF QUESTIONS IT, BUT I COULD NOT HAVE HALLUCINATED IT. SHE APPEARED TO ME, THAT I AM POSITIVE OF, FOR ALL YOU MOMS I HOPE YOUR MOTHER'S DAY WAS PEACEFUL. MY NIECE, MY SISTER'S DAUGHTER HAD US FOR DINNER AND MADE IT A VERY SPECIAL DAY. SO I WAS OK.
MY HEART WILL NEVER HEAL. I KNOW THIS. I AM TRYING VERY HARD TO GO ON WITH MY LIFE FOR MY SON AND FAMILY AND MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS AND I WILL, I MAY NOT BE HAPPY ALL OF THE TIME BUT I KNOW JACKIE WANTS ME TO HAVE A LIFE. GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND I WILL BE WRITING AGAIN. I MISS ALL OF YOU, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT BEING ON FOR A WHILE. WITH MUCH LOVE., GAIL
AND AS YOU ALL KNOW, THEN THE HOLIDAY, THEN THE ANGEL DAY, IT JUST NEVER ENDS. WELL, I GOT MY ACT TOGETHER. THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO BRING JACKIE BACK. I MISS HER SO MUCH. I GO TO P.T. AND FOR ME ITS LIKE SOCIALIZING. ITS SO CRAZY, EVERYDAY I CAN HAVE A DIFFERENT FEELING. ONE DAY I'M OK AND ACTUALLY HAVING A GOOD TIME. THE NEXT DAY I CRY AND CRY ALL DAY LONG. IT IS A C ONSTANT BATTLE. JACKIE'S FRIEND HAD A MASS SAID FOR HER ON HER ANGEL DAY. MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS CAME AND I TOOK EVERYONE TO BREAKFAST AND THEN THE CEMETERY. WHEN I GOT HOME, I WENT INTO BED AND SLEPT ALL DAY. I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT DAY IS OVER. I TALK TO JACKIE EVERY NIGHT AND ASK HER TO PLACE COME TO ME AGAIN. TO BE ABLE TO SEE HER WAS A MIRACLE. A VISION AND I KNOW I'M NOT NUTS., SHE CAME TO ME AND USED MY ENERGY TO GET THROUGH THAT'S WHY I FELT THAT NERVOUS AND SCARED FEELING GO THOUGH ME AND THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS WATCHING ME. IT WAS JACKIE. IF I COULD ONLY GET THAT BACK. I KNOW I SHOULD BE GRATFUL FOR THAT MOMENT AND I KNOW SHE WANTED ME TO KNOW SHE WAS OK.. BUT SUCH A MIRACLE MAY HAPPEN ONCE. I KNOW NOW THAT SHE IS OK AND IN NO MORE PAIN. SEEING THAT SMILE ON HER FACE LET ME KNOW THAT.
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR LOVE AND COMFORT ON JACKIE'S ANGEL DAY AND I PRAY THAT ALL OF YOU WOULD BE AS LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH A MIRACLE HAPPEN. MY SON SORT OF QUESTIONS IT, BUT I COULD NOT HAVE HALLUCINATED IT. SHE APPEARED TO ME, THAT I AM POSITIVE OF, FOR ALL YOU MOMS I HOPE YOUR MOTHER'S DAY WAS PEACEFUL. MY NIECE, MY SISTER'S DAUGHTER HAD US FOR DINNER AND MADE IT A VERY SPECIAL DAY. SO I WAS OK.
MY HEART WILL NEVER HEAL. I KNOW THIS. I AM TRYING VERY HARD TO GO ON WITH MY LIFE FOR MY SON AND FAMILY AND MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS AND I WILL, I MAY NOT BE HAPPY ALL OF THE TIME BUT I KNOW JACKIE WANTS ME TO HAVE A LIFE. GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND I WILL BE WRITING AGAIN. I MISS ALL OF YOU, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT BEING ON FOR A WHILE. WITH MUCH LOVE., GAIL
Replies
Nothing to be forgiven sweet friend.... We come and go here as needed...as WE need for ourselves.
Thanks for the update, if I knew about the surgery I\'d forgotten. My best friend also had knee replacement surgery and she has done amazingly well....I hope the best for you.
This journey is certainly filled with lots of ups and downs and sideways moments. Somehow we all find our way. Never easy, but a way IS always there to be found.
I count every sign, every vision, every dream, and every thought of \"hearing\" my child a miracle, for surely they are! No one has to believe but ME because they are MINE messages from Kala....just as yours are from Jackie.
My Mother\'s Day was very special and I\'m glad to know yours was too. It\'s nice to have family to share these special days.
Our lives will never be the same but we do have the choice of having LIFE and it can be wonderful....we simply have to allow it to be. I\'m choosing LIFE too....for Kala, my family and friends, and most of all for ME!
Looking forward to having you pop in more often! Take care and feel all the love I\'m sending you this very moment!
Love to Jackie!
What a gift you received from Jackie and she did want you to know that she is more than okay! These moments as Teri said are for us and it does not matter what others think. If they bring some peace into your heart then the intention of them has been more than fulfilled.
You have been through a lot and hope you continue to heal on all levels.
Loving care to your beautiful Jackie and to her forever mom,
XO Joanie
Welcome to the new knee club!! I had both done in October and I\'m so glad I did it...isn\'t pt a great place to meet new people...I love mine...( I\'m back in pt since I fell and broke my leg in Feb) I don\'t recommend doing that.
Love to you and Jackie...marylou
I\'m so sorry for missing her angel date! I would never intentionally do that, it\'s just so hard to keep up with that long list every month.
You were not hallucinating. I shared with you that I SAW April on October 23, 2011, standing at the foot of my bed, as clearly as I can SEE anything. The moment the thought passed through my mind \"I\'m going to grab her and pull her down to hug her\", she disappeared.
You are not hallucinatory, nor am I, nor are many many other Moms I know who have SEEN their children. I believe it is God\'s gift to us. He knows our hearts are broken as Jesus\' mother, Mary\'s heart, was broken the day he went to the cross. I think God responds to mothers whose children were \"victims\". Glad to see you\'re continuing. I\'m continuing not for any others, but for the purpose of God (which, of course, MEANS others will benefit from my being alive.) Pray for extraordinary grace to strengthen your faith, your obedience, your humility, and those gifts you have He intends for you to share with others.
Somewhere along the line, we do come to that place of acceptance and knowledge that we make the choice of how to move on. Or not to move on. I am currently trying to do exercises and change my diet (lots of calcium) since I don\'t want to go the replacement route. My Mom has had both knees and a hip replacement and I have been diagnosed with too many \"riteses\" to mention. Yikes.
Peace.