Katie is pregnant (yay....!)

My automatic thought is "fuck this day" but really, it wasn't that bad. I had a dentist appointment for a cleaning and I made the decision to take a T3 (for sensitivity and my shoulder). It was totally fine, I didn't feel high, or the urge to take more. So that was fine.

Later in the day, my best friend Katie messages me to tell me she's pregnant. Of course I'm happy for her... There's some other feeling though. A bit of anger, resentment, sadness... She got pregnant so easily, and by accident. She's not ready for a second kid, yet she's getting one. I can't even have a first. We're planning to conceive soon too, so I think I'm feeling a bit of resentment that she conceived first. I've been eating all evening, I feel like I can't stop. I keep going for healthy foods are least but the compulsion to eat is intolerable.