Just surviving

After two years, I still feel like I'm just going through the motions of life.  I have no ambition to do anything around the house and it still feels so overwhelming.  I don't know that I will ever be the same again.  I used to absolutely love music, gardening, painting.  Now I don't even care if anything gets done.  I miss Gene so much I just want to crawl up in bed and not get out some days.  Feel like I'm constantly fighting back tears especially on days like today.  I just want to go to my car and cry my pain away.  I know many of you have gone through the same things but please tell me, does it ever get better.  Do I have anything to look forward to in the future.  Will I ever be "me" again.  Right now I don't care about anything.