Just over it
well , I'm not speaking to my stbx that much at all , actually I haven't said 1 word since yesterday , I just have nothing to say . My husband is dumping me that is it . It is what it is for whatever reason he doesn't care enough about me to stay . So why should I waste words on him. I said my peace and have lashed out with venom for a few weeks , there is nothing left to say . Just talk about this or that , small things that have to do with house hold or child . It was awkward but now I just can't stand everything he does. He literally disgusts me . This situation is what it is for now .
I think I will try my best to enjoy the holiday season , even though I am still living with him. as long as we are cordial with each other when nessesary then that is fine. I'm not letting him ruin my Christmas . no way . I have no family but I can still enjoy the season. I think I'll just relax the best I can and let time do its thing. He will be leaving in January , and I am looking forward to it Now. Financially I am slowly catching up on passEd due bills , organizing my mind for my future budget.
I'm really starting to believe little by little , that my stbx has done me a favor , I could be married to him still , I could have spent the rest of my life with a douchebag . This hurt me , but in the long run it is better to have such great pain in an instant rather then it be stretched out in a long unhappy marriage.
my husband always had it better in this relationship , I took care of most of the bills, I never argued even when he was being a total jerk ... I cleaned and cooked and was always thinking of him . He hardly lifted a finger , and complained how work was so hard , yet he was off three days a week! He complained about not having money but yet he bought one thing after another of useless things from online. He would ask me for money when he ran out .he sat there watching all his favorite shows , pretty much dominated the living room. Meanwhile he was a jerk to me a lot . I let it go cause he said it was cause work was stressing him out. funny how he said he hated the people he worked with but constantly made snacks for them and bought pies for them too. He didn't fix anything in the house , I work 5 days a week and I would clean and try to fix things around the house on my day off, his days off were spent at the gym , or sitting there zoning out on the tv. And now he thinks he can do better without me . I always thought I was working for our marriage and I didn't care about my own feelings , for better or for worse. Well now that it is clearly over , I think it is time I got my life back. Now that we will not be married , he ended it . He ended his comfortable life too , he ended being close to his son . he also ended my ignorance . I thought I was a strong person. But looking back I sacrificed so much ( too much) to keep him happy . So , now I will be free. Yes it still hurts a lot in some level , but not because I want him to stay.
im definitly not healed , my anger is fading into nothing, my sadness is there but I'm still ok , this living situation is painful but I will deal because it isn't permanent . One day at a time .
I think I will try my best to enjoy the holiday season , even though I am still living with him. as long as we are cordial with each other when nessesary then that is fine. I'm not letting him ruin my Christmas . no way . I have no family but I can still enjoy the season. I think I'll just relax the best I can and let time do its thing. He will be leaving in January , and I am looking forward to it Now. Financially I am slowly catching up on passEd due bills , organizing my mind for my future budget.
I'm really starting to believe little by little , that my stbx has done me a favor , I could be married to him still , I could have spent the rest of my life with a douchebag . This hurt me , but in the long run it is better to have such great pain in an instant rather then it be stretched out in a long unhappy marriage.
my husband always had it better in this relationship , I took care of most of the bills, I never argued even when he was being a total jerk ... I cleaned and cooked and was always thinking of him . He hardly lifted a finger , and complained how work was so hard , yet he was off three days a week! He complained about not having money but yet he bought one thing after another of useless things from online. He would ask me for money when he ran out .he sat there watching all his favorite shows , pretty much dominated the living room. Meanwhile he was a jerk to me a lot . I let it go cause he said it was cause work was stressing him out. funny how he said he hated the people he worked with but constantly made snacks for them and bought pies for them too. He didn't fix anything in the house , I work 5 days a week and I would clean and try to fix things around the house on my day off, his days off were spent at the gym , or sitting there zoning out on the tv. And now he thinks he can do better without me . I always thought I was working for our marriage and I didn't care about my own feelings , for better or for worse. Well now that it is clearly over , I think it is time I got my life back. Now that we will not be married , he ended it . He ended his comfortable life too , he ended being close to his son . he also ended my ignorance . I thought I was a strong person. But looking back I sacrificed so much ( too much) to keep him happy . So , now I will be free. Yes it still hurts a lot in some level , but not because I want him to stay.
im definitly not healed , my anger is fading into nothing, my sadness is there but I'm still ok , this living situation is painful but I will deal because it isn't permanent . One day at a time .
Replies
I saw a quote on Facebook the other day that said in relationships \"Sometimes people get lucky and the trash takes itself out\" that\'s how you have to look at it, he is doing you a favor but it\'s too hard to see through all the fear and anxiety.
I feel the same way sometimes, it\'s overwhelming, so I try to live moment to moment, not allowing the X to steal anything more from me. God bless
I think he did do you a favor. Mine did me a favor too. It just took me too long to see it. Good job for not letting him ruin your Xmas. I need to take a page from your book and do the same. Thank you for sharing.
You sound like you are in a decent place and have a good approach to handling the next couple months. Good for you! Yes, you will be better off. I will too. Better this than an unhappy marriage stretching on into who-knows-how-long! Hang on to this perspective; it is rationality breaking through the emotion. When I have such moments I try to hold on to them - journaling about it is a great idea!
Be well.