Its the universe hates Manito week

 Found out a close friend to my family has cancer that are to bad for surgery. And it´s all the doc´s fault.  One of my best friends is falling back into depression I fight more then ever to not do the same. It´s like I have this thing pulling on my legs to get me to fall again and I can just try to hold on.  Why does older guys always find me. And I mean older. Like 30 year older. And why would they want a kid. I have to be a kid to them. It´s just UGH. And they won´t go away either. My parents have major moneyproblems. Think it´s worse then they wanna tell me. And I can´t do a damn thing about it. Plus it doesn´t help that dad crashed the car so they have to buy an other on. Which they so does not have the money for.  I want my mommy (am I 20 or 4?) And I hate myself for feeling so damn sorry for myself when I really have it good compared to others. Im living my freakin dream right now. USA was my dream. Is my dream.