It started when I got sick....
Mid December I began to fight depression because of my miscarriage...It was the realization that I had been pregnant a year prior and I felt empty....then i got sick...really, really sick... I had the H1A1 flu (new swine flu strain)... I wasn't eating properly.. I couldn't eat... I was so sick and so depressed... I physically forced myself to eat, always being so conscious of making sure i got some form of food into my body..usually just fruit of some form... an orange or two.... I lost 20 lbs..at least...I have received compliment after compliment on how great I look... and everyone has been asking me how I did it... how I dropped 20lbs in a month... well, less than a month really... I told them I got sick.. and I ate healthy, and went for walks and jogs even tho I was sick.. which is true.. I forced myself out of the house because I was so depressed.. but... now I'm fighting with anorexia..on top of everything... I am still trying to force food down my throat, but the compliments feel so good... I was anorexic once before...followed by bulimic.. I never ate a lot before getting sick.. It started when I tried to get over my anorexia and eat.. I threw it up...then that's just what I continued to do until I eventually got past that as well and dieted... not in a very healthy way I can admit.. Now..I'm struggling with depression from the loss of my baby, I'm falling apart, I'm stressed to all living hell, and I'm fighting an eating disorder.... The other night, my stomach growled.. I was starving... I ate a small piece of celery and I was damn near full... I forced myself to eat more celery with some peanut butter but I was choking it down.. my body refuses food... and I know it's because psychologically, I'm telling it to... I'm just trying to be okay... I'm trying to work through everything... and I'm so scared...so absolutely terrified of telling my girlfriend that I have an eating disorder... I am terrified to tell anyone...I told one friend, and I told her I'm going to see my counselor as soon as possible... But it's so hard.... I just want to be okay...
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It\'s now 5:30pm.... I\'ve been up (out of bed) since about 12:30pm... all I\'ve had was a cheese string and a really small orange... yet I have no desire to eat... I have no appetite... and frankly... I just don\'t want to eat..
acinorev, how can I expect for you to take care of yourself while I\'m away if you do not eat? Shall I offer a word to you concerning this matter? How can I read this news and remain silent, huh? Please tell me...
Aelle
Sweetie, u need to eat to keep up your strength please i wish i could eat my weight has gone under 100lbs before & its abt ready to again cause i can\'t keep much down due to my health.
please talk to your Dr i have faith in you you will be ok...
Luv u,((((Angel)))).
I\'m sorry aelle....and I\'m trying to eat...I just have no apetite or desire to eat...I like that I receive compliments but I hate that I receieve them because I have a problem... I\'m not at an unhealthy weight...I\'m actually around my ideal max weight...
Hi acinorev!
So sorry to sound like a frightful mother hen, haha! I do recall that you mentioned that you have diabetes. So my strong concern was there with your well-being and the proper diet, and please do keep trying to stay away from stressful situations. Thank you for sharing your feelings, as this is useful behavior to getting emotionally better.
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Aelle
Awe Aelle.. you are so sweet, so caring, and so supportive... I really do need you and i really do appreciate everything you do for me. I do have diabetes, and I am making sure i keep my blood sugar up with at least liquids.. but i\'m doing better with food, i\'m struggling to eat still, i have no desire to eat but i am forcing myself to eat in hopes i will stretch my stomach slightly and feel hungry again... I eat little bits at a time, i\'m just trying to keep food around me at all times so i can snack... Avoiding stressful situations... wouldnt that be nice... Thanks hunny, i really appreciate everything so much
Acinorev
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awe aelle... Thank you..
acinorev