It's baaaack June 11 2011
yes, I knew it was too good to be true. Days of feeling pretty good....almost like my old self. I guess I would feel better if I could figure out a reason. We had a very relaxing evening...nothing much stressful going on...so why was I awake til 1:30 with anxiety? Who the hell knows. After 9 years of this crap you would think I would realize I probably won't ever know.
I tried to not panic too badly...I mean...I was wired and awake...so what right? too hot..kick the covers off...too cold..put them back on ...the dog running up and down the hall not helping...must be another stray cat in my backyard. I had taken some ibuprofen before I went to bed but still achy so get up...more water and an extra ibuprofen...try to lay back down. Felt like I had 10 cups of coffee before going to bed. finally got up and took and extra buspar...tried to lay back down again. He woke up when I was in the kitchen and asked me didn't I just take something an hour ago...sorry for waking you I said...this is different meds. Three glasses of water later now I have to get up and go to the bathroom...crap...now my stomach is growling...more water. I guess sometime around 2 I finally fell asleep and was awake by 5:30. I tried to ignore myself and go back to sleep. The dog heard me roll over and came in and pounced on the bed...oh well.
At least it's finally starting to feel like summer here. Got to at least be dressed by 7:30 since the company mechanic is coming to pick up the rodeo and take care of the brakes. Thank god he's doing side jobs cause they are bad and I didn't have the money to go to a regular shop where they see WOMAN + BLONDE = $$
Why is it that just because you are a woman they assume you don't understand mechanical things? If I wanted to I'm sure I could have done it myself...unless there's a strength factor..(I hate that men have such upper body strength and women are supposed to just bat their eyes and say oh please can you help me?) In my younger days I thought it was great that I could change my own oil...now that I'm older the idea of being greasy and dirty...well...let someone else do that. lol.
Still doing that "checking in with myself every 5 min"...like am I still ok? Stupid I know.. after all we KNOW i'm not OK...I stayed up all night being a wack job.
coffee stayed down...check
meds taken on time...check
cereal staying down..check
What a moron! Maybe when I get started with my summer classes I'll be too busy for anxiety???
I tried to not panic too badly...I mean...I was wired and awake...so what right? too hot..kick the covers off...too cold..put them back on ...the dog running up and down the hall not helping...must be another stray cat in my backyard. I had taken some ibuprofen before I went to bed but still achy so get up...more water and an extra ibuprofen...try to lay back down. Felt like I had 10 cups of coffee before going to bed. finally got up and took and extra buspar...tried to lay back down again. He woke up when I was in the kitchen and asked me didn't I just take something an hour ago...sorry for waking you I said...this is different meds. Three glasses of water later now I have to get up and go to the bathroom...crap...now my stomach is growling...more water. I guess sometime around 2 I finally fell asleep and was awake by 5:30. I tried to ignore myself and go back to sleep. The dog heard me roll over and came in and pounced on the bed...oh well.
At least it's finally starting to feel like summer here. Got to at least be dressed by 7:30 since the company mechanic is coming to pick up the rodeo and take care of the brakes. Thank god he's doing side jobs cause they are bad and I didn't have the money to go to a regular shop where they see WOMAN + BLONDE = $$
Why is it that just because you are a woman they assume you don't understand mechanical things? If I wanted to I'm sure I could have done it myself...unless there's a strength factor..(I hate that men have such upper body strength and women are supposed to just bat their eyes and say oh please can you help me?) In my younger days I thought it was great that I could change my own oil...now that I'm older the idea of being greasy and dirty...well...let someone else do that. lol.
Still doing that "checking in with myself every 5 min"...like am I still ok? Stupid I know.. after all we KNOW i'm not OK...I stayed up all night being a wack job.
coffee stayed down...check
meds taken on time...check
cereal staying down..check
What a moron! Maybe when I get started with my summer classes I'll be too busy for anxiety???
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