It's all turning around

Every once in a while I have a day when I start to see the light between the clouds. Today it hit me that I was in business for three years when I quit gambling, but I only doubled the business in the past nine months since I last gambled. The sheer amount of energy, focus, drive, and time it took for me to nurse my Addiction prevented me from doing my best work, and sometimes admittedly it prevented me from showing up at all.

Life is hard sometimes, no doubt, but I am so grateful for moments like right now, when I can see that my life is so much better because I has the strength to quit and to stay strong, one day at a time, 273 days ago. I'm very lucky I got out when I did.

I miss it sometimes, and sometimes I still get really strong urges. But I know that the life I have now would not be possible if I were gambling. I also know I want to get my business a lot further, and even with that, I know it will not be possible if I am still gambling. You can't be your best self when you're a frantic mess, rushing through work to get back to the casino. You can't be your best self when you're bleary-eyed from spending the night at the casino on a bender. You can't be your best self when you're dirty and disheveled from spending days at the casino.

If it's a life or gambling, I choose life, every time.