Is it the 26th Yet!!!!
Not doing to good lately. I guess it is because of this time of hear. It is supposed to be a happy and joyous time. Not for me. I am already ready for the 26th and today is only the 5th. Today I have been pissed off. Excuse me but I am. No reason. Just am. I do have reason. My heart is so empty without Josh. I miss him and want him back home. Yes it will be 6 years the 24th but that does not make it any easier. Everybody getting ready for the holiday, me I just want to crawl in a hole and not come out until it is all over with. Sorry to be such a downer but I know you guys will understand. Miss you and love you all.
Replies
So sorry you are feeling so low. It is such a hard time of year and with your sons angel day coming up it is even harder for you. The days will fly by and soon it will be a new year, I know that does not change anything. I hope you have some plans and something to work toward, I am having our family Christmas so it makes me have something to do. I am so sorry you feel so low and so sorry for the loss of your Josh. I will keep you in my prayers and wish you much peace, and comfort and joy for the new year. Hugs Lynette
Holidays can be a bummer if you let them. I miss my son every day and the holidays bring extra feelings because it is such a family thing, a giving time. May it help to reach out to help others? I know that when I do something kind for someone, they are happy and that makes me happy. I do these kind things in honor of my son. I feel I owe it to him to be strong like he was during his years of struggling with brain tumors. He was strong with illness. I should be strong with good health. Take a walk, smile at the sun, bake some cookies and drop them off at a school or nursing home. I always sing songs...happy, fun songs to perk me up. The emptiness never goes away but you can choice to make it tolerable. Hugs, Peggy
I hate this season. We went shopping today and I just got depressed with all the decorations and happy chat. I don\'t think it matters if it is yesterday, 3 years, 6 years or 20 years, we will always miss our kids, especially on special occasions.
So be pissed off, I\'m with you!!
Big hugs, Love Marlene
Every Dec 1st I begin carrying you and Josh a little closer in my heart. I carry you all year you understand, but I \"hold\" you a little tighter, pray a little more often, and hope a little more for your peace during Dec. I\'ll never forget some of your early journals, some of our early conversations (2007 seems like a lifetime ago).....they stay with me, tucked deep inside my being. As we near Dec 24 and Jan 2, I feel myself being drawn to you more and more. I hope somehow you can feel all the love energy flowing from me to you Rhonda.
Somehow, miraculously, we will once again survive Dec 24 and Jan 2....somehow....
I LOVE YOU RHONDA! And I love John too!
Love to Josh......excuse me.....PEACE OUT JOSH!!!! (I\'ll never see another peace sign without thinking of your handsome boy!)
Yesterday,,,,I got it....\"you don\'t smile much these days\"....I just can\'t....I know you can\'t either...my heart is with you everyday,along with my prayers and love,,,,
I understand and I\'m with you dearest Rhonda. I\'m keeping you cradled and tucked safely in my heart and surrounded in a bubble of comfort and peace.
Whatever you are feeling is okay and as it needs to be for today. You will forever long for your beloved son, Josh, in everything you say and do. BE with him and find him in all things.
I am grateful to read your journal today and to know how you are feeling. It matters as do you and yes, I understand with my whole heart and surely wish that I didn\'t. Deepest of sighs...
Much love dear friend and hope the retreat this year will be within driving distance for John and you as I know John will not fly. My fingers are crossed! I missed you last year in Utah. Just sayn....
Tightest of (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
I understand the pain your are feeling, especially having Josh\'s angel date on the 24th, the night before Christmas...I wish I could reach through the computer and give you tight heart to heart hugs for real.. Know that my heart is with you Rhonda, Christmas is hard enough...Love You Rhonda, John and Josh!!!XO Kelly
This is such a difficult time of year, period - let alone if you have Josh\'s anniversary. You\'re right, the years don\'t make it any easier - just different, I guess. You take good care of yourself - the 26th isn\'t too far away! Joanna x
I can\'t imagine having to deal with my child\'s angel date AND a major \'holiday\' right on top of each other...
Hugs and wishes for peace for you...
MaryLou
Dear Rhonda, my heart is with you during these holidays! Mine starts on THE SATURDAY before Thanksgiving (that is how I will always remember it). Michael\'s Angel Day happened to fall on Thanksgiving Day this year. Sucks. I no longer do anything for the holidays. Maybe some day. We should get together and just take a cruise for the holidays LOL. Love, Belinda
Right there with you special friend, and you know I\'m suffering right along with you and Teri having our angel dates so close together. Keeping josh and kala tucked in my heart with Matthew praying they whisper to us and make us smile.