is anybody awake?
i feel alone. hopeless. helpless.
dear sir or madam,
i would like to inform you of my resignation from life. thank you very much for providing me with 31 years of adventure and fun and catastrophe. and for teaching me how to suppress my god damned emotions to the point where... where am i?
numb.
i am an abandoned piece of trash caught in the wind of a desert, scraping along the bottom of a long since dried out lake bed.
i am a horror story, only i am my own horror, and i am my only audience.
i am a piece of shit waiting to be shat out and stepped on. tracked in shoe prints down the sidewalk that never fully get washed away by the weak san diego rain.
i am strong and brilliant, i am a sun, i am a miracle, and i burn the earth i love so much.
i am psychotic and sane at the same time, i am libra, but i am tipping and i am tired.
i am a tree, and my future is dim. maybe i am a pencil, or a printed advertisement stuck to your windshield now.
i am feelings, one-thousand feelings, but i am a closed container, and you can't even see me.
i am a mouse.
i know how to live in my own shadow. i know how to be a shadow. if only i knew how to die.
i am alive, and i will stay alive, but it doesn't mean i have to like it.
dear sir or madam,
i would like to inform you of my resignation from life. thank you very much for providing me with 31 years of adventure and fun and catastrophe. and for teaching me how to suppress my god damned emotions to the point where... where am i?
numb.
i am an abandoned piece of trash caught in the wind of a desert, scraping along the bottom of a long since dried out lake bed.
i am a horror story, only i am my own horror, and i am my only audience.
i am a piece of shit waiting to be shat out and stepped on. tracked in shoe prints down the sidewalk that never fully get washed away by the weak san diego rain.
i am strong and brilliant, i am a sun, i am a miracle, and i burn the earth i love so much.
i am psychotic and sane at the same time, i am libra, but i am tipping and i am tired.
i am a tree, and my future is dim. maybe i am a pencil, or a printed advertisement stuck to your windshield now.
i am feelings, one-thousand feelings, but i am a closed container, and you can't even see me.
i am a mouse.
i know how to live in my own shadow. i know how to be a shadow. if only i knew how to die.
i am alive, and i will stay alive, but it doesn't mean i have to like it.
Replies
i need to get out of here.
I\'ve been there. done that. I\'m still there, doing that. LOL
However, I have a new long term project, and that is to get to know you before you kick the bucket. Looks like I better get moving on that one before the window of opportunity closes.
I hope you got a good night\'s sleep, because everything usually looks a little better in the morning light.
If you could housesit at my place in Blythe for a week you are welcome to it.
thanks for the offer, but i\'ll have to decline. i did get about 20 minutes of sleep, though.