illusions

We go through the motions trying to get better.  Reach out for support...give support to others.  Like a jenga tower...one little block slips and it all falls to the ground.  You sit on the ground trying to pick up the pieces and look around...no one is there to help.  No one CAN help. The darkness is your own and on some level you KNOW you deserve it.  Even if they could...they would not help YOU.  They may not see it on a conscious level...but they KNOW you are broken, damaged, beyond redemption.  You are NOT special...you are a waste of the sunlight, a waste of the molecules that hold you together. Just suck it up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.  Stop trying to pretend that you can have friends and be part of the world around you..because you can't. Get stronger..you have to be able to survive on your own.  It's the only way. On some level you have always known that.  HE taught you that.  He only exploited a crack in the foundation that was always there.  Stupid, weak girl.