I've become a Facebook monster
Following the election I did not use the tools I've been taught to use when coping. I did not come to this website and express my thoughts and feelings. I couldn't medidate. My fear very quickly becaome a rage that I took out on individuals on facebook. I've been posting non stop and have been calling out friends and relatives directly. "you voted for a narcsisstic, pussy grabbing, bigoted, racist." Please note, that most of the time I am not insulting them directly, but insulting with no kind words the kind of person they voted for. On other occasions I have very directly insluted people. Someone posted a fake meme showing a protester sign saying "rape melania" which I thought was a clear imposter and let that person know in no kind words. Another republican friend posted a man fat-shaming lena dunham and blaming her for Trumps win. I told him outright that he should not blame lena dunham for his issues of impotence. I felt like he started it by posting the article, so I then had a right to retaliate. My friends are wondering who I am -that I usually don't act like this. Quiet, kind, respectful. I sometimes think that I'm justified in my insults - that they are not THAT bad and that these people are deserving. I can't figure out exactly how I want to be but i do know this -i'm not willing to be quiet. I feel like people online accept bad behavior from men - but then call out bad behavior from women - and I very much have an issue with this. But does bad behaivor from them justify my responses? If anyone has some advice on how to not be "quiet" and still be "assertive" when people are very specifically being racist, bigoted, and misogynisitic, I'd really love to know where you draw the line. Ignore? retaliate? stay away from media? I feel like Im' free falling when I retaliate with mean comments - i'm not sure if i'll land on a pillow, or on the concrete ground and some day REALLY regret this.
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Can you figure out where these feelings originate from? Who treated you differently because you were female? Who told you women shouldn't have a voice? Who silenced you? Who does Trump and Trump lovers remind you of? Nikkole...who are you really angry with?
You know what, I am struggling with the same questions. Actually, there are only two individuals on my FB feed who post stupid stuff, both women, and I ignore them. If I knew how to reach out to them without rage I would but I don't.
I don't know how I would respond to the kinds of posts you're talking about. I definitely applaud you for not accepting it silently. Remember (are you old enough to?) the early days of the AIDS crisis when people wore buttons that said "Silence = Death"? I feel the same way about racist, misogynist and xenophobic bullshit. People may be hurt and angry for good or bad reasons, but how does that excuse disgusting, reprehensible, bullying behavior?
And then again, it's one thing to be in pain for some legitimate reason and it's another thing to be in a narcissistic rage because you don't get to be Master of the Universe and lord it over other races and genders. Some people can't be reasoned with or taught - they have to be trained like a dog that they can't cross certain lines without receiving an electric shock.
Other people lash out in reflexive rage because that's the level of discourse they see around them on FB and on the media. In such cases, I think it is best not to engage on that level but to remind them, if you can, that they are supposedly civilized human beings, and you are a human being, and the people they're spewing hate at are human beings.
On a gut level, I highly approve of you lashing back at entitled spoiled brat men. But I wouldn't want any of this to do you any harm. I think maybe you should express your rage OFFLINE and THEN come back to the posts when you are calm and can make a response that reflects well on you. A response that calls out what they're doing but without breaking down into fits of rage or malice.
You certainly have my whole-hearted sympathy.
LE - those are fantastic questions. DW - thanks for you kind words. I think a great idea, before responding, that is to say that I may still respond, is to take your advice DW "express your rage off line", while thinking of those things that LE mentions, "Who treated you differently because you were female? Who told you women shouldn't have a voice? Who silenced you? Who does Trump and Trump lovers remind you of? Nikkole...who are you really angry with?" let it sit for at least 24 hrs. then come back. thank you both :)