I still miss how happy I was

I got a text from my ex just saying hi and asking how I was doing. We chatted back and forth for a little then he went to hang out with others. I'm happy he's doing well but I cant lie when I say that I miss him a little. Its still so easy to talk to him and I feel at ease remembering him. It still makes me cry and wish I wasnt trapped like I am. It makes me wish I hadnt cursed myself the way I did. It makes me wish I could just die sometimes.

It's been over 2 years and the pain is still as fresh as the day we seperated. I've gotten so weak I don't know if I can keep going most days.