I'm doing it anyway

I am completely messed up right now.  restless, nervous, don't want to be at work but can't stand to be alone either.  I am having horrible nightmares and scared the crap out of him a couple of times in the last week.  I get keys to the new apartment on Friday.  It's almost over...well, the waiting part anyway.  I almost cave in a couple hundred times a day.  How can people love each other and not be able to work it out?
Oh that's right...because he loves the alcohol more.
These last few weeks he has been semi-sober most of the time, been almost like a best friend.  He has helped me shop, bought me furniture for the new apartment and still been giving me the sad face, the teary eyes and saying he does not want me to go.  I had almost started to believe that we could work things out.  Sunday we went out and got a few of the things I still needed for the move; microwave, dishes, etc.  I told him that even if we worked things out today I think it would be good for me to live on my own and try and take care of myself for a while.  He of course proceeded to get drunk on Sunday night..then made me upset...then I remembered exactly why I am doing this.
He is still going to help me move...he still doesn't want me to go..but he still doesn't say he will try and quit drinking.  I feel like I am going to be sick half of the day but I am moving out anyway. It is all I can do to struggle through this week.  The only bright spot is after they made me a deal at the company to get cheap rent by taking a unit that had not been upgraded...it turns out the old stuff was so bad they had no choice but to put in the upgrades so I will be getting new carpet, cabinets, counters...should be like a new place.
Thankfully the day is almost over...off to class...just a few more weeks and this will be ending also.  I have no idea what I am taking for summer yet.