I'm a mess today, and it's alright
Traveled last week, had erratic sleep patterns over the weekend, woke up late for work. Rolled in wearing sweats, no one seemed to notice or care. I'm super tired. Leaving for a doctor appointment at 12:30 and I might finish out the day from home.
Exhausted, really.
Normally I would've gone gambling today. It would be a WTH day. What the Hell (WTH), why not. WTH, why even care. WTH, I'm not doing well, I'm not doing enough, I'm not enough, I'm a mess, I'm not living up to my potential, WTH WTH WTH.
Instead it's like, *deep breaths.* OK. OK, yeah, I'm less than perfect, but I'm still here, at work, doing what I said I was going to do. OK, yeah, I'm super tired, but I'm still present. OK, yeah, I'm on the gambling forum at work, but isn't that the most important work, keeping yourself together and in sobriety for the long haul? That's the work that will keep me able to do any other kind of work, professionally or personally or otherwise. And I'm still getting other stuff done.
Don't WTH your entire life away like I used to do. Every day matters. Let me repeat: Every. Day. Matters. One day at a time will get you everywhere. One day at a time has gotten me to day 271. And even if this day looks like glasses, no makeup, sweats, fatigue, and exhaustion, honestly, this day is better than any day I was well-rested and wearing my fanciest clothes, makeup, and was on my way to the casino.
Progress, not perfection. Just because I don't look or feel the way I think I "should" feel doesn't mean that I'm not a person of worth or value, or that I'm not making progress.
Progress, not perfection. Just because I'm not as productive today as other days doesn't mean I don't deserve success or happiness or inner fulfillment.
Progress, not perfection. Just because I want to throw in the towel today doesn't mean that I can't do something positive to keep myself doing better and better. Momentum is important. It continues to build, even on your slowest days.
Progress, not perfection. I need to remember that.
Exhausted, really.
Normally I would've gone gambling today. It would be a WTH day. What the Hell (WTH), why not. WTH, why even care. WTH, I'm not doing well, I'm not doing enough, I'm not enough, I'm a mess, I'm not living up to my potential, WTH WTH WTH.
Instead it's like, *deep breaths.* OK. OK, yeah, I'm less than perfect, but I'm still here, at work, doing what I said I was going to do. OK, yeah, I'm super tired, but I'm still present. OK, yeah, I'm on the gambling forum at work, but isn't that the most important work, keeping yourself together and in sobriety for the long haul? That's the work that will keep me able to do any other kind of work, professionally or personally or otherwise. And I'm still getting other stuff done.
Don't WTH your entire life away like I used to do. Every day matters. Let me repeat: Every. Day. Matters. One day at a time will get you everywhere. One day at a time has gotten me to day 271. And even if this day looks like glasses, no makeup, sweats, fatigue, and exhaustion, honestly, this day is better than any day I was well-rested and wearing my fanciest clothes, makeup, and was on my way to the casino.
Progress, not perfection. Just because I don't look or feel the way I think I "should" feel doesn't mean that I'm not a person of worth or value, or that I'm not making progress.
Progress, not perfection. Just because I'm not as productive today as other days doesn't mean I don't deserve success or happiness or inner fulfillment.
Progress, not perfection. Just because I want to throw in the towel today doesn't mean that I can't do something positive to keep myself doing better and better. Momentum is important. It continues to build, even on your slowest days.
Progress, not perfection. I need to remember that.
Replies
271! That\'s fantastic. I have a lot of those wth days too. Get your work done go home and soak in a hot tub of water! You are so close to 272! You are my hero!