i just don't understand...
...how he could seem to hate me for aspects of all the things he seemed to love me for when the relationship was beginning. or for things he still says he admires to this day.
i'm regaining some of my independence, and that feels good, but he's just pushing harder and harder. i mean, why ask me to abide by a time limit of "fifteen, twenty, thirty minutes tops hanging out alone with [guitar player]?" because this is reasonable to him? does it take approximately 35 minutes to fall in love with someone else? i don't want to say no to him, but this is really absurd. i'm not attracted to the guy, i love my boyfriend, and the possibility of this scenario even happening is maybe one percent. i don't even think he's going, but if he does, my whole family is gonna be there, and my friends. we won't be alone together.
tonight i told him that i keep fighting to prove my love for him, and that i need for him to prove his love for me. how? some kind of therapy or something, i said.
"oh, we're back on that again?" he said, because he is enraged that i called him delusional and told him he needed to seek help.
"i'm not calling you anything. i just need you to do your part."
as usual, he left again. didn't want to talk. mister talk about everything he's going through doesn't ever have time to talk about my side. so i just SAID, instead. said what i wanted to say, told him i loved him but that i have feelings in this, too, and what am i supposed to do, continue suppressing them? said, not yelled, not whined, not cried. and when i paused, he said "ok. are you done?"
he says he treats me like he would want to be treated. he is so...
and i am so... close... to being done with this.
i never thought that i would have to leave him. but his mother says "it's difficult for us to say what is actually happening because we aren't in the relationship." she know he has "issues," but the acknowledgment stops there. (although there may be some hope in getting through to her husband.) i feel like i may need an intervention if i am to continue wanting this relationship.
i don't want to do that to him, fight him to stay and then leave. but the next time he does leave, i have to just let him go. and when he comes back, keep the door closed unless he agrees to get help.
i'm regaining some of my independence, and that feels good, but he's just pushing harder and harder. i mean, why ask me to abide by a time limit of "fifteen, twenty, thirty minutes tops hanging out alone with [guitar player]?" because this is reasonable to him? does it take approximately 35 minutes to fall in love with someone else? i don't want to say no to him, but this is really absurd. i'm not attracted to the guy, i love my boyfriend, and the possibility of this scenario even happening is maybe one percent. i don't even think he's going, but if he does, my whole family is gonna be there, and my friends. we won't be alone together.
tonight i told him that i keep fighting to prove my love for him, and that i need for him to prove his love for me. how? some kind of therapy or something, i said.
"oh, we're back on that again?" he said, because he is enraged that i called him delusional and told him he needed to seek help.
"i'm not calling you anything. i just need you to do your part."
as usual, he left again. didn't want to talk. mister talk about everything he's going through doesn't ever have time to talk about my side. so i just SAID, instead. said what i wanted to say, told him i loved him but that i have feelings in this, too, and what am i supposed to do, continue suppressing them? said, not yelled, not whined, not cried. and when i paused, he said "ok. are you done?"
he says he treats me like he would want to be treated. he is so...
and i am so... close... to being done with this.
i never thought that i would have to leave him. but his mother says "it's difficult for us to say what is actually happening because we aren't in the relationship." she know he has "issues," but the acknowledgment stops there. (although there may be some hope in getting through to her husband.) i feel like i may need an intervention if i am to continue wanting this relationship.
i don't want to do that to him, fight him to stay and then leave. but the next time he does leave, i have to just let him go. and when he comes back, keep the door closed unless he agrees to get help.
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