I hate this addiction!!
I hate this addiction. I have been a compulsive gambler for the last 20 years. My life is out of control right now. The urge to hide this addiction makes me feel so shameful. The lies I have told to my family on a weekly basis makes me feel so guilty. I keep chasing loss after loss thinking it will help improve my financial situation. The fact is if I didn't gamble I would not have to be in this financial situation. I know this. My mind knows this. My heart knows this. Why can't I stop this insanity? Hating life today!!!!!
Replies
Well, you are in the right place! Me too, I hated my life, 10 years same thing for me, I know exactly how you feel, and I am so happy you are posting, and you are here. So, take today, take this moment, and make the decision that you are not going to gamble, today. Make it, one day at a time, and you can do this. Its amazing to me how much control this addiction has over us, shocking to me to think, that throughout my life, I have gone through very difficult times, that I have overcome, triumphed in fact, but this addiction can kick my ass. So, for me, I made the decision, that after 10 years of losing this addiction battle, that I am committed to doing this, to not placing another bet, to remember that feeling I had over the years when I would go and how it ultimately ended up. Today, I have today, and so do you, so hold on tight, and tell yourself, today, you are in recovery. You go this, start, now, and when you get the urge, remember its the addiction talking, you can do this, you CAN do this, it sounds to me like you want it bad enough, this is the first step, baby steps, but, your first step. Thank you for posting, please hang on, and post as much as you need to. xoxoxox
Thanks Leap. I wish yesterday had the ending I hoped for. But it didn\'t. I lost to the demons within. I feel so guilty and afraid. I will post later this morning. I have to get it off my chest. I really feel like I cannot breathe today. I am shaking all over. I want to call in sick to work but I am going to gather all the strength I have right now to get ready for work. Thanks for your words of inspiration and encouragement. Today I am tired of being tired. :(