I hate feeling like crap

I know things tend to run in cycles but I am tired of this particular intersection.  I feel like crap.  whether it is the colder weather or the getting dark earlier I have been on the edge of anxiety.  The boyfriend had been drinking again.  He still has not made any attempt to find an attorney as he needs to file bankruptcy since these creditors are now starting to file wage garnishments.  He is already asking me for money and the garnishment has not even started yet.  He is still working retail and this week he opens mon tue and then wed thru sat he is on close which means we will not see each other except in passing.  So tues night I get home from school and he's drunk again and falls asleep 5 minutes after we finish eating.  I didn't even clean up the kitchen.  I just put all the dirty dishes in the sink, took a shower and got in bed.  This morning he is all cheery and says he loves me.  I'm like...really???  I feel like I'm gonna puke.  He says don't be mad at me you are all I have.  Well that's great that you feel like you have me since I am all alone.  If anyone is reading this I am sure it makes no sense but I am just trying to rant it out of my system.  I still have not been able to get any financing in AZ so I can move back to be near my mom.  She said she was going to help me try and find some owner carry properties but apparently she is too busy in her retirement to even answer my texts.  I don't even know what to do anymore. I don't belong anywhere.  I am never going to be able to finish school at one class a semester.  I haven't seen any decent jobs in Tucson and it is hard to interview long distance.  I am just lost today.  My arm hurts from the stupid flu shot.  I am tired and crabby.  My boss is out of town all week so I can't even be sick since I am the only support.  He makes me realize more and more how unqualified I am for this job.  Hell I can't even pass my stupid A+ exam.  Mostly because I am lazy and cannot be disciplined enough to study on my own.  If money were not so tight and I did not have my pets to think about I would probably just leave...I have no idea where I would go but all the retirement articles I have been reading do NOT mention AZ as being one of the cheap places to retire.  So sick and tired of the same old shit.