I am the worst
Maybe he is right. maybe I am the whole problem here. It's true I do not care about much of anything anymore. My lame attempts at being affectionate are deflected in theory because he has stuff to do but maybe he just cannot stand me anymore. I know I would not be able to. We had a huge blow up this morning. Since I spend so much time here on DS he feels I do not need him and we are more like roommates now anyway. I wanted to try and fix it I told him...why do you think I begged you to sleep next to me last night? oh yeah right...like you begged he said. I don't think you realize how hard it was for me to ask...to say I needed him to be there. But we are more like roommates now.
I tried to tell him that when he is busy I go for a book or get online to keep myself occupied...always trying to keep my mind busy and fight off the anxiety. He said well maybe if I got up and did something around the house instead I would be fine. It's true..other than the laundry and an occasional cleaning spree I do not do much around the house. I just don't know what to do anymore. Each year we only grow farther apart. We are certainly nowhere near best friends
I never said I was a peach to live with. I am lazy by nature so given the chance of randomly cleaning the house or curling up with a book I know which I will pick every time. I am a waste on this planet I know..always wrapped up in my own misery and depression.
He says...you have all your friends online ...you don't need me. He doesn't understand that if I fell off the planet tomorrow no one would miss me. I am not even sure that he would miss me.
My dog would miss me but as long as he kept feeding her she'd be fine too.
I tried to tell him that when he is busy I go for a book or get online to keep myself occupied...always trying to keep my mind busy and fight off the anxiety. He said well maybe if I got up and did something around the house instead I would be fine. It's true..other than the laundry and an occasional cleaning spree I do not do much around the house. I just don't know what to do anymore. Each year we only grow farther apart. We are certainly nowhere near best friends
I never said I was a peach to live with. I am lazy by nature so given the chance of randomly cleaning the house or curling up with a book I know which I will pick every time. I am a waste on this planet I know..always wrapped up in my own misery and depression.
He says...you have all your friends online ...you don't need me. He doesn't understand that if I fell off the planet tomorrow no one would miss me. I am not even sure that he would miss me.
My dog would miss me but as long as he kept feeding her she'd be fine too.
Replies
This is sad, not gonna lie. I don\'t believe you though, because I know you want to be happy and you are trying. From what you have been posting on here he has not. Well maybe it is time for a break. I know I should have taken it myself. Now my mom and sister might be going far away from me and I neglected them when I moved with my boyfriend. For three years I have grown apart from my sister and mother, whom are the only family I\'ve got here. We\'re from Bulgaria and they want to move to Florida. I want me to go with them, but I am still stuck with my boyfriend because I love him and I am going to school. Anxiety kicked in for me too. All I want to do is sleep when I get home we have barely communication and I am a quiet girl as it is, it is terrible and I feel I am only lying to myself. I don\'t want you to feel this way too. I hope you guys work it out if you are choosing to stick through it. Life is full of misery right now, but it doesn\'t have to continue to be. I don\'t think you are lazy, because I feel the same way, I would rather stay at home and read and do something like that and I am 21. However, if you think so, maybe you both should get out together and meet new people. It hurts to hear words from him like that. Although we as women are more affectionate, we don\'t like to chase men. At least that is how I explain it. We need a man to boost our confidence don\'t we? Well it is hard, I read somewhere that men just want to be with a woman who is fun to hang with and social, whom will bring others around, but I am not as social as my boyfriend so I don\'t know how that works. The only friends I have are on here too. My own sister I do not get along with. Why does life have to be this way? If you can work it out, if you can\'t there will be someone else and better, just try not to make the same mistakes again. Wow, I don\'t know why I am not following my own preaching. All I know is YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Over the years of being married to my very best friend there were times where we were hardly best friends but our love for each other endured all the bad times. Give it time and see if you don\'t \'bounce back\' and find some good moments together. It can\'t all be good as people are changing but over time people can work at growing together and can make it good once again. We all hit the low times but the low times don\'t last forever.
Someone once gave me good advice in sharing with me, \"It\'s not so much what you get out of marriage that is so important but what you put into it that matters so much.\" Over time it can really help.
:-) Patricia