I am messed up
we went to a child first Thing at the court it was mandatory , we were with other divorcing couples and watched a video . It simplified divorce for the kids and adults. A purple house where everyone wore purple , mom dad and the kids. One day dad wore a red tie and mom got upset , then mom started wearing a blue pin which upset the kids , then the parents would fight over red and blue until the kids wup used to wear purple were changing into red and blue clothes , they were stressing, and then the divorce and dad lived IN A red house and mom lived in a blue house and the kids wore rainbow colors , how it's a family still even after the divorce. After this video they seperated all the kids from all the adults. The kids played ate food with other kids with divorcing parents . I guess it was a good experience for my child .
it is a kids first program so I didnt show how I was really feeling obviously . Now that I am alone in my room I just feel like my brain is mush. I have to learn to forgive is what they were trying to say ... I guess. The video really simplified divorce and showed a happily ever after divorce. I am so messed up in the head right now . I am guessing I should forgive my stbx? My stbx is zoning out , so unfeeling to this whole process , leaving like we had nothing , i am heartbroken and angry more angry actually and somehow I am supposed to forgive ? I accepted this divorce , but I don't see the happily ever after they portray . I know I should forgive him and release this anger and pain but I don't know if it is possible . I plan to cooperate once he moves oht when it comes to our child but right now , I don't know how much he will be there for our son, I feel A lot of anger and I feel like i am being told that I am wrong for being angry , this whole night has just took a toll on me . I'm really tired of people saying this happens , no , he decided he didn't want the burden of being tied down ( not that I was ever like that ! ) I was so nice , did everything for him and this just happens ?! Bs ! I'm so over this right now .This was his choice , not something that just happens . Deep Inside I have to forgive and let this go . I know I do , but can i ?
This thing just messed me up. I feel like I am in a loony bin . The only good thing is , is that this should be the last thing we have to do for this divorce . I think now we just wait for the papers signed and stamped in the mail . My brAin feels mangled up. It was mandatory In order to be divorced. I guess it helps the kids , that is all that matters. Still not a good night for me . Will have to ponder and soul search to see if I can find forgiveness for him. I am afraid , even as strong as I have tried to be , that this feeling of being tossed in the trash like a used Kleenex will never leave me .
it is a kids first program so I didnt show how I was really feeling obviously . Now that I am alone in my room I just feel like my brain is mush. I have to learn to forgive is what they were trying to say ... I guess. The video really simplified divorce and showed a happily ever after divorce. I am so messed up in the head right now . I am guessing I should forgive my stbx? My stbx is zoning out , so unfeeling to this whole process , leaving like we had nothing , i am heartbroken and angry more angry actually and somehow I am supposed to forgive ? I accepted this divorce , but I don't see the happily ever after they portray . I know I should forgive him and release this anger and pain but I don't know if it is possible . I plan to cooperate once he moves oht when it comes to our child but right now , I don't know how much he will be there for our son, I feel A lot of anger and I feel like i am being told that I am wrong for being angry , this whole night has just took a toll on me . I'm really tired of people saying this happens , no , he decided he didn't want the burden of being tied down ( not that I was ever like that ! ) I was so nice , did everything for him and this just happens ?! Bs ! I'm so over this right now .This was his choice , not something that just happens . Deep Inside I have to forgive and let this go . I know I do , but can i ?
This thing just messed me up. I feel like I am in a loony bin . The only good thing is , is that this should be the last thing we have to do for this divorce . I think now we just wait for the papers signed and stamped in the mail . My brAin feels mangled up. It was mandatory In order to be divorced. I guess it helps the kids , that is all that matters. Still not a good night for me . Will have to ponder and soul search to see if I can find forgiveness for him. I am afraid , even as strong as I have tried to be , that this feeling of being tossed in the trash like a used Kleenex will never leave me .
Replies
I am sorry that you feel that way, and I understand whole heartedly, but you deserve better my friend! I feel the same, sometimes thinking that I am worthless because of my situation. I pray that our situations were different, but they are what they are, we had no control over those that forced this upon us. I know from chatting with you these last few month\'s that you are a good and caring person and that you do not deserve the treatment you have been given, don\'t let anyone bring you down, you know the truth. You have helped me a ton and that speaks volumes as to the great person you are, to help others while hurting and struggling at the same time. May God bless you and keep you safe!
I went through a mandatory class before my divorce - but it was just for parents. And it was about parenting and dealing with kids in divorce. I totally understand where you\'re coming from.
They are projecting the ideal situation, which might occur (emotionally) like 5 or more years down the road. No one (especially the one being left) walks away from divorce feeling positive \"co-parenting\" feelings about their ex. It\'s crazy!
That video is surely tailored to the kids. It actually sounds a touch insensitive to the parents, if there is a strong \"forgiveness\" message in it. I mean, how can they know what happened in a given relationship and whether forgiveness can ever be possible?
Don\'t take it too hard. You may or may not choose to forgive. And if you do, it will likely be years from now. Just consider it a video to help kids, and ignore the rest. You have every right to your feelings - to your anger, hurt, bitterness, all of it. I have it all too. I know. I can hold a grudge like you wouldn\'t believe!
You\'re a worthy person. Don\'t forget that. It\'s so hard when we are tossed aside like that, but the truth is we deserve better. You/we will find it eventually. Focus on you, heal. It will take time. And then you will emerge better. Be strong. :)