Homework
Ok so good news first.
Doc office called and all blood and urine tests came back clean for std's :) Let me tell you though, doc told me would only call if bad news, that no news was good news, so when the nurse called I was in a panic, already starting to spiral and hyperventilate. I was chattin with destinedtobe at the time, thanks D! Nurse said just got results and doc shot me an email asking me to go ahead and call you so you wouldn't worry. That made me feel good about doc.
Still have to go to gyno get pap n all that, Try to figure out whats going on with hormones. Still no period.
~~~~~
Went to mc last night, after a 3 week hiatus as mc was on a long vacation. Ended up being there an hour n half :) HA! He shouldn't have went on vacation :)
It was emotional. I have been a mess for a while, but especially since vday, and with being sick.
I came home with homework.
A lot of it.
First, vday ended up bombing because of the dinner from hell, plus I was getting sick. That fed into my perfectionism tendencies and fear of failure. Which translated into me panicking about my marriage because " if I could put so much work and planning into vday day and it still goes to shit, then what if I put all this work into my marriage and it goes to shit too?" My upbringing and my voice in my head tells me I am a failure. This is an issue I am working on.
Our wedding anniversary is Monday. I am to make a plan for anniversary that is not high pressure. As to avert feelings of failure.
Second, I am to work more on a visualization exercise involving that little girl inner child. I am to find her again and talk to her and tell her that She is not a failure, it was the adults around her who failed. That they are the ones who gifted her the whole samsonite collection of baggage. And I have to apologize to her for taking so long to tell her that.
Third, closely related to the above. I am to plan a party with that little girl, and whoever else I want to invite to dispose of all that luggage.
Wow, I may have to do summer school:) lol
any and all advice welcome
Doc office called and all blood and urine tests came back clean for std's :) Let me tell you though, doc told me would only call if bad news, that no news was good news, so when the nurse called I was in a panic, already starting to spiral and hyperventilate. I was chattin with destinedtobe at the time, thanks D! Nurse said just got results and doc shot me an email asking me to go ahead and call you so you wouldn't worry. That made me feel good about doc.
Still have to go to gyno get pap n all that, Try to figure out whats going on with hormones. Still no period.
~~~~~
Went to mc last night, after a 3 week hiatus as mc was on a long vacation. Ended up being there an hour n half :) HA! He shouldn't have went on vacation :)
It was emotional. I have been a mess for a while, but especially since vday, and with being sick.
I came home with homework.
A lot of it.
First, vday ended up bombing because of the dinner from hell, plus I was getting sick. That fed into my perfectionism tendencies and fear of failure. Which translated into me panicking about my marriage because " if I could put so much work and planning into vday day and it still goes to shit, then what if I put all this work into my marriage and it goes to shit too?" My upbringing and my voice in my head tells me I am a failure. This is an issue I am working on.
Our wedding anniversary is Monday. I am to make a plan for anniversary that is not high pressure. As to avert feelings of failure.
Second, I am to work more on a visualization exercise involving that little girl inner child. I am to find her again and talk to her and tell her that She is not a failure, it was the adults around her who failed. That they are the ones who gifted her the whole samsonite collection of baggage. And I have to apologize to her for taking so long to tell her that.
Third, closely related to the above. I am to plan a party with that little girl, and whoever else I want to invite to dispose of all that luggage.
Wow, I may have to do summer school:) lol
any and all advice welcome
Replies
Shtmy and cec, basically, the past and our experiences shape how we see things, but nothing is permanent. As long as we are alive and continue to have experiences, we CAN continue to grow and learn. The past is merely a reference, as it helps us understand how we came to be the way we are, but we can reshape the way we veiw the world, we can rewire our brains to learn new ideas and we can continue to evolve. I hope that helps us all! lol
Awesome job, Z, in explaining it!!! John Bradshaw and Melody Beattie also address a lot of these issues in their books, as well. I really do think a whole lot of our issues do stem, from our family of origin.
The good news is we aer capable of revisiting those main issues, concerns, dysfunctions, oversights, etc, and address them, and heal them.
I prefer Erickson to Freud too! Freud\'s is so heavily based on sex, wonder what his problem was! lol