holy cow
i had a huuuge step back... back into chaos and paranoia :( I miss him like crazy and I know that breaking NC takes me backwards. I feel i still love him. He says I'm paranoid and all those stuff aren't true. It makes me guestion myself, whats real? Maybe I really am obsessed? I won't go back to what was before, but I'm just stuck in the middle, in this weird bs. Love should be easy, should be fun... I can't live my life just obsessing about WHAT is the truth, it's enough pain to be cheated on, digging in it is even worse.
Replies
my brain is fucked up... rly. i let those old feelings come back. i let the same shit happen. and it will be harder to leave this time. now that he \"loves me\" oh so much.
Listen to yourself and your own experience, not him! Of course he us gonna say that!
I have two words for you re: why you feel like this: COGNITIVE DISSONANCE! Please remember this and put yourself first! I understand how you feel but the more you focus on your recovery, the better you will get! Sometimes we all have setbacks but just \'hit the reset button\' as WTF said, and just take it one day at the time honey!
Get back to NC, believe yourself and his actions, not his useless words!
Big hugs,
A xx